The Young and the Hopeless
by Lovetoread75
Summary: Dallas is struggling with alcoholism. He's lost everything and is at the end of his rope. After a robbery gone wrong the judge sends him to a rehab where he learns a lot about life and about himself. My first rated T story for some dark themes. Also I am going to try to title each chapter, something I didn't do with my other stories. Enjoy and let me know what you think.
1. Rainy Days

So, here I am with another story. Please enjoy. S.E. Hinton owns The Outsiders and Good Charlotte owns The Young and the Hopeless. Check out my youtube Outsiders video that I made with this song - just search for "Outsiders - the young and the hopeless" or go to my channel No tears in Heaven.

 _I'm young and I'm hopeless_

 _I'm lost and I know this_

 _I'm going nowhere fast_

 _That's what they say_

Dallas took a sip out of his mug. The coffee was burnt, it tasted disgusting. He pushed the cup aside. He felt awful. His head hurt and the light was hurting his eyes. He was sweating and he felt nauseous. He ran to the bathroom just in time to throw up. He took a shower in hopes to feel better but that didn't help. Finally he proceeded to the living room and opened the cabinet where his dad stored the booze. He took out a bottle of vodka. He poured three shots and drank one after another. He went out onto the front porch hoping some fresh air would make him feel better. He lit up a cigarette and took a long drag. He didn't feel better. He decided he needed another drink. He got up slowly and wobbled back into the house. Passing through the kitchen he tripped over a chair and fell on his stomach. He cursed loudly trying to get up. It was not easy. Finally he managed. He felt blood in his mouth -he broke his lip. He cursed again.

He took out the bottle of vodka and poured three more shots. After he was done he went back to the porch. In a few minutes he passed out. Soon enough his dad was coming back home. He merely moved Dallas aside with his foot to be able to pass by. When Dallas came back to senses it was late. He felt like he may throw up again and stumbled back into the house. He went straight to bed. His dad only gave him a funny look as he was passing by the living room.

Dally stretched out in his bed. He felt another wave of nausea coming up. He quickly ran to the bathroom. After he threw up he stumbled into the living room. His dad already went to bed. Dally took out a glass and poured himself a glass of scotch then another one. After that he went to bed and closed his eyes. He was finally able to fall asleep.

The next day in the afternoon Dallas was supposed to jokey for Buck. The races started at 4 p.m. By the time he showed up he was pretty drunk. He never rode drunk before and he hasn't planned to do so this time but the hangover was killing him so he had quite a few drinks. When he showed up at the races he covered up the smell of alcohol with cologne and managed to stand steady without swaying from side to side. He avoided speaking to anyone because he knew that his speech was slurred. Finally it was time to get on the horse. Dally felt agitated. He got on the horse. The horse started galloping. Dally felt really dizzy and disoriented. He was shaking and sweat was dripping down his spine. He desperately pulled the reins, and the horse went wild.

The next minute Dallas was flying off the horse. He hit the ground with a loud thump. He was in excruciating pain. The crowd went quiet. The medics were there right away. They tried lifting Dallas up and he groaned. Finally they were able to lift him and place him on the stretcher. They realized that Dallas was drunk. The last thing Dallas saw was Buck's eyes and then everything went black.

Dally opened his eyes and squinted from the bright light. He was in a hospital room. He tried to move but abandoned that idea quickly because of the pain that shot through his body. His head hurt too. In a few minutes the nurse walked in. She looked at Dally funny like she was disgusted with him. "What are you staring at?" Dallas snapped. She wrinkled her nose, "Let me know if you need anything," she said rolling her eyes like she was just saying that only because it was her job. "Yeah, I need something – a drink." Dally snorted. She rolled her eyes again, and left the room.

Dally closed his eyes but was forced to open them because the nurse was back "you have a visitor." Dally opened his eyes and saw Buck. Buck looked seething. Dally was about to say something but didn't get a chance. "Fuck you Winston," Buck pointed his finger. "You just cost me five hundred dollars. What the fuck is wrong with you, showing up drunk for a race." Dally was in a lot of pain he didn't need this. "I show up drunk whenever I feel like it." He smirked.

"Oh yeah, you ain't showing up for me. You are losing it Winston. You ain't riding for me no more."

"Fuck off," Dallas interrupted, lifting his head from the pillow, "I ain't got to listen to this." Buck turned on his heels and left slamming the door behind him. Dallas lay back down, he felt like shit and the fact that he wouldn't be able to ride anymore wasn't making him feel any better. He looked out the window – it was a gloomy, rainy day. This weather fit his mood perfectly. He turned to the side, feeling the pain, and closed his eyes.

Hope you enjoyed the first chapter. Let me know what you think.


	2. Let's have some fun

**Ok, here goes the next chapter. Big thank you to everyone who reviewed.**

Dally was kept at the hospital for two days. He couldn't afford to pay for more. He had a brace around his neck and was supposed to keep it on for a week. He barely got through the two days since he couldn't have a drink. The first thing he did when he got out was get a drink. Then his dad got in his face about drinking all the booze that his dad paid for. Dallas still had some cash on him so he decided to go to the bar. He didn't want to go to Buck's since him and Buck weren't exactly on good terms these days so he decided to go downtown.

It was a nice May morning – sun was shining bright and the nice Spring breeze was brushing against Dally's face. His thoughts, however, were not so bright. He relied on his jockeying to get cash, which was enough for cigarettes and booze, where was he supposed to get it now? Especially now that his dad won't let him drink his booze. His gaze fell on the other side of the road. Some kids with their backpacks over the shoulders were rushing to get to school. School, he frowned, he wouldn't be caught dead going to school.

With these thoughts Dallas entered the bar and was met with a strong smell of alcohol, smoke and pot. He waited a second for his eyes to adjust to the darkness and then went over to the bar. He eyed the drinks greedily, deciding what he should get. He didn't have that much money. He got a glass of Jack Daniels. He was sitting sipping his drink watching a cute girl across the room thinking if he should make a move considering that he had a girlfriend, when someone slapped him on the shoulder from behind. He turned around abruptly to whoever it was, ready to fight if he needed to.

"Easy there," the guy gave him a crooked smile. Dallas squinted - the guy looked vaguely familiar, then Dallas recognized him as one of the Brumly boys Mike something or other.

"'member me Winston?" the guy smiled showing his crocked teeth. Dallas just nodded coolly.

"What brings you to our neck of the woods?" Mike chuckled. Dallas crossed his arms, "Got into a fight with Merrill, can't go to his joint no more." He said lazily, taking another sip of his drink.

"Oh that," Mike snorted, "I heard what happened." Dally's pupils widened, he always wondered how gossip could spread so fast. "So you heard what happened?" he repeated reluctantly.

"Yeah, you fell of the horse, you were drunk. Lucky you didn't break your back." Mike pursed his lips then added, "So Merrill is giving you hard time about it?" Dallas finished his drink and motioned for the bartender to get him another one. He took a sip then looked up at Mike, "who the fuck needs Merrill," he scoffed.

"Hey that's my man," Mike slapped Dallas on the shoulder again, and Dallas looked up at him annoyed.

Then Mike pulled up a chair and sat down next to Dallas. He gave him a meaningful look and moved his face closer to Dally's and almost whispered, "tell you what, me and some guys are planning some business on the East side. We need one more person." Dally perked up, "what kind of business?" he swallowed hard.

"We are planning to clean out some soc's house in about two weeks 'r you in?" Dally was thoughtful for a moment, he was not the one to jump into things hotheadedly he ran his fingers through his hair "what's my cut?"

"My guy looked into it and tells me the house is loaded with stuff, TV's, jewelry, china, crystal, paintings, other shit. Between four guys each takes one fourth so that's your cut, 'r you in?" Mike repeated.

Dally thought that he needed the money and he needed some action.

"Sure, d'ya know who the soc is?" he took out a cigarette and lit up.

"Last name Valance that's all I know. That and that they are loaded. They probably have the house insured anyway so we are doing them a favor robbing them and all, they'll get tons more cash for it."

Dallas finished his drink and took a drag on his cigarette, Valance that sounded familiar, but he couldn't quite place it.

"So in two weeks," Mike said, getting up, "I'll look you up, good thing I ran into you Winston."

"Whatever," Dallas replied ordering another drink.

It was around 3 p.m. on a Wednesday afternoon. Ponyboy and Johnny entered the house. They put their backpacks down and proceeded into the kitchen. Pony poured himself and Johnny a glass of chocolate milk and took the chicken out of the fridge and set it on the counter to thaw. They were about to go into Pony's room when the door opened, and Dallas walked in. He hadn't been at the Curtis lately. Not since the whole falling off the horse incident, of which both Pony and Johnny and rest of the gang for that matter were well aware. He stayed at the hospital for only two days so they didn't get to visit him, had he stayed longer they would have definitely visited him there.

Now he was standing in the doorway. "Hey Dal," Johnny greeted, and Pony nodded. There was something wrong with Dallas. His eyes were blood shot and there were huge bags under his eyes.

"Everything ok Dal?" Johnny asked concern in his voice, and Ponyboy just stared at Dally in confusion.

Dally didn't even say 'hello' "Does… um, Darry…," Dally spoke up, "Does superman have booze in the house? My old man got the liquor cabinet locked up, and I don't have the key." Dallas sounded desperate, and Johnny and Pony exchanged worried looks.

"Quit staring at me like I have a horn growing out of my head, now does Darry have liquor in the house?"

Dally walked into the living room and plopped onto the couch. Pony spoke up. He was visibly intimidated by Dallas' demeanor, but he had to say what he had to say. "Darry has some liquor in the cabinet, not much but I'm not allowed to touch it."

"Hey it's just one drink he won't even notice," Dally replied, sinking deeper into the cushion, then he licked his lips and added, "I really need a drink." Dally had a tremendous headache and he felt shaky and didn't know what he would do if he didn't get a drink soon.

"Sorry Dal I can't do that," Pony took a few steps back.

"Oh c'mon don't be such a pussy," Dally got up and leaned against the wall getting in Ponyboy's face, "why do you let Darry boss you around? You are like his puppet and he is pulling all the strings." That got Pony bad. His face turned red and he looked down. Johnny looked worriedly at Pony then at Dallas.

"C'mon," Dally clenched his jaw and took a step forward, "he won't even notice just one drink."

"Fine," Pony finally said sheepishly. He went into the liquor cabinet and returned with a bottle of Jack Daniels.

"Good stuff," Dally approved, "now get me a glass." Pony gave Dally a glass and the three of them sat down on the floor and Dally poured the drink. He started drinking then smiled "ya want a taste? Here," Dally stretched his arm with the glass towards Pony's face.

"No that's ok Dal," Pony said moving away a little, his face reddening again.

"C'mon live a little," Dally smirked, an amused expression on his face. Pony looked up at him.

To tell the truth he was curious. He knew Soda drank at his age and Darry had tasted the liquor too even if he didn't drink often, but Pony had never tried. He sighed and carefully took the glass from Dally's hands. Wide-eyed he took a sip. It tasted sweet, not like he expected it to taste, but boy was it strong. It burned his throat and he started coughing. Dally laughed "take another sip," he prompted. Pony hesitantly took another sip.

"You like it?" Dallas smirked, lighting up a cigarette.

"It's … sweet." Ponyboy mumbled, and Dally laughed again.

"You too," Dally looked at Johnny, leaning against the couch and stretching his legs out.

"It tastes kind of nice," Pony elbowed Johnny. Johnny looked hesitant, "yeah, all right." He finally mumbled. He took a sip and started coughing too. Dally and Pony started laughing.

Dally finished the drink and started pouring another one.

"You said one drink Dal," Pony tried to protest.

"Don't worry he ain't gonna notice, and you can just blame it on me, I'll deal with him." Dally replied as he filled the glass full. Pony had no choice, he wasn't about to start a fight with Dallas.

Dally finished the drink and licked his lips then he poured another drink and drank it like a shot. Then he poured half a glass and stretched his arm giving it to Pony. "I know you want to," He smirked. Pony had to admit the stuff tasted nice and it made him feel like one of the boys. He was always such a goody good. He never did anything outrageous or dangerous so he took the drink form Dally and drank it all. After that it seemed like a good idea to have another one.

"Here Johnny have some," Pony gave his glass to Johnny. Johnny's eyes got huge but he took the drink.

In a half an hour they emptied the bottle. Dally had the most drinks. Pony and Jonny got two drinks each but the stuff was really strong and they both felt tipsy. Pony felt kind of nice and relaxed but excited at the same time. "Let's go outside," Dallas suggested, getting up, leaving the empty bottle behind and flicking the ashes of his cigarette right onto the floor.

The three went outside. Pony felt like doing something like a drag race or something fun and dangerous. Johnny was walking behind looking worriedly at the two. He was buzzed too, but had the most sense left out of the three.

As they walked by someone's house Dally grabbed a huge tree branch and used it to knock the mailbox down. That seemed like fun. He did it to the next house too. Then Pony grabbed another tree branch and did the same. Dallas laughed. They kept walking and knocking everyone's mailboxes down laughing hysterically, "C'mon, Pony, cut it out" Johnny tried to get some sense into them.

"Don't be such a killjoy," Dally yelled, knocking another mailbox down.

All of the sudden they heard sirens and they froze. Some of the house owners saw what was going on and called the cops. The police car leveled with them the guy stuck his head out of the window, "stop what you are doing, hands behind your back." Dally was pretty drunk still, while the other two sobered up. Dally looked defiantly at the cop but put hands behind his back nevertheless. Dallas was merely amused by the situation, he was even proud of it. The cop got out of the car. He was holding a small pad and a pen in his hands.

"Your IDs with your name and address," he barked.

"You know who I am," Dallas said proudly, through clenched teeth, lifting his chin up and looking the cop right in the eyes.

"I still need ID, Winston," the cop replied disgust in his voice.

"I don't have it on me," Dallas bluffed.

"Well, if you don't have ID we can just take you to the station for vandalizing personal property."

"I have ID," Pony spoke up hurriedly, searching his pockets and taking out his ID.

"Does it have your address on it?" the cop demanded.

"Yes sir." Pony handed the cop t his ID. Pony was terrified of what Darry would do if he was taken to the station. Dally and Johnny handed their IDs too. Even though Dally stuck his middle finger out as he was handing his ID.

The cop wrote down the information from the IDs. "Your fine is $500 each." He gave Pony a slip that said 'fine $500' and gave Dally and Johnny one too. Ponyboy felt panic. He was literally shaking and he wasn't sure if it was from the drinks wearing off or from fear of facing Darry. Slowly he started walking back in the direction of his house, his head down. Dally and Johnny followed behind.

Dally caught up with him. He took one look at Pony and realized how nervous Pony was to face Darry. "Don't worry kid like I said just blame it on me." Dally was merely amused by the situation. He didn't see great harm in what had happened and he felt like he could certainly handle Darry. The $500 fine bothered him but he decided to put that thought out of his mind for now. He wished they didn't leave the empty bottle and the glasses in the middle of the living room. Well there wasn't anything he could do about that now.

They reached the house, and Pony stretched his arm to grab the doorknob to open the door. Dally swatted his hand – "lemme." He walked ahead of Pony and grabbed the doorknob. He opened the door and literally almost bumped his head against Darry's. He was still somewhat drunk and was swaying from side to side. Darry grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, "tell me it isn't what I think it is." Darry breathed heavily.

"Easy there, lemme explain." Dally got out of Darry's grip. Darry's face turned a different shade of red.

"You got these two drinking?" It didn't sound like a question it was a statement. I just gave them a few sips to taste." Darry cracked his knuckles. "I can smell the alcohol on their breaths five miles away and you are telling me it was just a few sips. How the fuck you come into _my_ house and drink _my_ liquor and get these two drunk. What's this?" he grabbed the slip for the fine out of Pony's hands and Pony was just standing there, he felt pathetic. Darry looked at the slip and saw $500 fine. He paled and took a step back. He seemed to have lost his ability to speak. He stared at Pony and the look in his eyes was murderous.

Finally he seemed to be able to speak, "wh.. what were you doing?" Pony had seemed to lose his ability to speak as well, and Johnny was visibly shaking. Dally's face got serious all of the sudden as he finally realized the seriousness of what was happening. "Alright Darry lay off of the kid…" Dally said sternly, paling a little. Darry turned from Pony and gave Dallas a murderous look. "It isn't his fault," Dally continued, walking up closer to Darry, "I made him get the booze and I made him drink it. He didn't want to but I forced him." Pony looked at Dally with huge eyes Dally was making this up, taking the blame, he did not _force_ Pony to drink he was trying to cover up for him. "And what the hell is this?" Darry waved the slip in front of Dally's eyes while glaring at him. Dally swallowed hard. "We knocked some mailboxes down, somebody called the cops."

Darry went quiet, and the silence in the room could kill. Then Darry turned abruptly, he grabbed the empty bottle that was still on the floor and threw it against the wall with all his force. The bottle broke into thousands shards. It was quite a scene even Dally winced as Darry threw the bottle. Darry was just standing across from the three breathing heavily.

Finally he spoke up, sounding dead serious - "Here is how this is going to work," he pointed his finger at Dallas then gave Pony and Johnny a warning look. "These two are not to hang out with you anymore. You hear me?" he addressed Pony and Johnny. "I don't want you within five miles from him. And believe me I _will_ find out if you break this rule."

"C'mon…" Dally started.

"Get the hell out of my house," Darry said his voice quiet now but stern, "I don't want to see your drunken face ever again." Dally froze and for a second the expression on his faced was hurt. Then he turned around and walked out without saying another word.


	3. Time to pay

_I take what I want_

 _Take what I need_

 _They say that it's wrong_

 _But it's right for me_

 _I won't look down won't say I'm sorry_

 _I know only God can judge me_

Two weeks passed by. Darry picked up extra shifts at work to pay the fine. He paid Johnny's too. But he surely did not pay Dally's. Neither Pony nor Johnny had any contact with Dally since the day he got them drunk.

Dally was sitting on the couch in the living room. He was drunk. He broke the lock on his dad's cabinet and got a hold of a bottle of whiskey. He needed a drink, he just couldn't go on without it. There was nothing his old man could do about it, what whip his ass. Dally smiled at the thought.

He was sitting staring into the distance his thoughts mixing up in his head when the door opened and Pony and Johnny walked in. Johnny wrinkled his nose at the smell of alcohol. It smelled too much like his own house. Dally barely acknowledged them by a slight giggle. "What are you two doing here? I thought you ain't allowed to see me no more." He said bitterly. The thing was that Dally was offended and even hurt that Darry wouldn't let Pony and Johnny hang out with him. He tried to convince himself that he didn't care, but deep inside he felt hurt. He didn't have a lot of friends. Sure people saw him as a mean, tough hood. They were intimidated by him, some admired him, but none of those people were really friends.

Dallas had difficulty holding his head up so he just let it fall onto his chest. Pony and Johnny exchanged worried looks.

"You ok Dal?" Johnny frowned, "How much did you have to drink?" Dally pointed to an empty whiskey bottle on the couch next to him. Then he didn't say anything else, was just sitting staring into the distance.

"We just wanted to know if you were ok." Johnny spoke shifting from foot to foot uncomfortably, his voice quivering slightly as he spoke, "talked to Two- bit the other day, he said you weren't doing so well."

Dallas bit his lower lip "Two-bit doesn't know shit," he glared. Then he crossed his arms and continued, "Look, unless you have some business you should go I want to go to sleep." Pony and Johnny exchanged worried looks again - it was noon. But there was nothing left for them to do but leave.

Johnny sighed, "All right Dal we are going to go." Dallas merely acknowledged that with a slight nod.

When the two left Dallas got up from the couch and went into his room and crashed onto his bed. He lit up a cigarette and closed his eyes. He tried to relax, but gloomy thoughts kept popping into his mind. He considered Merrill somewhat of a friend and now that friendship was ruined. Pony and Johnny were not allowed to hang out with him. Dallas kept picturing Johnny's worried face as he was asking Dallas if he was ok. Was he ok? Things were ok he supposed. He had a roof over his head, food on his table. Things could be worse, but he couldn't help but feel this emptiness inside his soul. His life was empty, there wasn't anything to live for. Dallas frowned at the thought. He sighed and took a long drag on his cigarette, then went to sleep.

It was May 25th Dally woke up with a headache and went right into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee. He took a sip and looked out the window. The weather was nasty. Then it hit him today was his girlfriend's birthday. He remembered she said something about celebrating it at her house. He was drunk and wasn't paying attention but what he got out of it was that her family and friends will be there.

Dallas swallowed the coffee, it was burnt, he didn't have a present and he didn't have the time or the money to go out and get one. I guess a bottle of wine will do, he thought. He went to his dad's cabinet and got a bottle of cheap red wine. Luckily it was not opened. Next he went to see if he had any clean clothes to wear. His dad didn't do laundry often, and Dallas was not about to start doing his own laundry. He found a clean black t-shirt and a pair of jeans. Not exactly a dressy outfit but it would have to do. He remembered she said everyone will be meeting at noon.

Dallas really wasn't looking forward to the event. His girlfriend Michelle was from the middle class, and Dallas felt like her friends looked down on him. He met some of them before. They were always bragging about their jobs and asked Dallas if he was in school or in college. Dallas scowled at the thought. He considered blowing it off, but at the end decided to go.

The headache didn't subside. He got up and went over to his dad's liquor cabinet. He pulled out a bottle of vodka. He poured himself a shot and then another. Two shots that was nothing for him. At 11:30 he walked out of the house, a bottle of wine in hand. His dad took the car so Dallas had to walk. The weather was still nasty – the sky was dark, the wind was harsh and it looked like it was going to rain any minute.

When Dally arrived at his girlfriend's house everyone was already there. It was half past 12. Michelle gave him an unhappy look, "couldn't you be on time for once?" He scowled saying nothing. His relationship with Michelle had been going downhill lately. He liked the girl more than he would care to admit, even to himself, but she was really on his case about drinking. He promised to watch his drinking just to shut her up, but he had no intention of changing his life style nor could he change it at this point even if he wanted to do so. He gave her a quick peck on the lips. She wrinkled her nose smelling alcohol on his breath. "You've been drinking," she said disappointment in her voice. "We are going to be drinking now anyway what's the difference?" Dallas barked, looking away.

At this moment Michelle's mother walked into the kitchen, "Hi Dallas," she greeted, he nodded in return. They've been introduced before that, during several family events, but they weren't particularly fond of each other. "C'mon honey," she said to her daughter, "everyone is waiting". Michelle shot Dally a final glare and went into the living room. Dallas had no choice but follow suit.

At the table Dallas was seated between Michelle and Greg, her brother. They've been introduced in the past as well, and Dallas had a feeling that Greg didn't like him. Several people said toasts. Dally took this as an opportunity to drink three glasses of cognac. Most people were drinking wine or champagne, but he opted for the stronger stuff. He noticed Greg was watching him, but he ignored it.

After everybody finished eating people were walking around and mingling. Michelle had to entertain the guests. Dallas found himself alone at the table. He didn't mind much. He didn't feel like talking to anyone. He grabbed the bottle of brandy that was on the table and poured himself a glass. He drank it quickly and poured another one. He leaned back in the chair and relaxed. He felt like his girlfriend should be paying him some attention, but she seemed to care only about her guests never mind that he was her guest too.

He didn't know what to do. He had a few more drinks and was starting to feel the buzz. As he was pouring himself another drink Michelle's brother Greg pulled him aside. Dallas was swaying from side to side as he walked.

"I noticed that you had quite a few drinks." Greg started to say.

"Yeah, what's your point?" Dallas said lazily through clenched teeth. Greg looked at him with disgust. "My point is that I think Michelle deserves someone better than that." Dally furrowed his eyebrows and glared at him, "and who cares what you think." He spat on the ground.

"I also think," Greg waved his finger in front of Dally's face, "you have a drinking problem."

Dally's eyes flickered dangerously at Greg. All of the sudden he grabbed the finger that Greg was waving at him, then he pulled out a blade and flipped it opened. Greg removed his hand and took a step back, but Dally grabbed him by the collar and pressed the blade against his neck. One of the guests saw what was going on. He ran up to Dally quickly and knocked him down. It was easy since Dally was drunk. He looked up and saw Michelle looking at him her cheeks beet red. He got up and walked past her not saying a word, an expression of disdain on his face, and left the house. He felt lousy both physically and emotionally and was wobbling cursing under his breath all the way home.

The next day Dallas was home drunk, he got a phone call from Michelle, "we need to talk," she said, and her voice seemed strained.

"What about?" he barked. There was a pause on the other end of the line.

"About us."

"Can't we just talk over the phone?"

"No, I need to talk to you in person, can you come over this afternoon?"

Dally chewed on his lip. He really liked Michelle, but she could be really annoying at times.

It's been a year since Dallas started dating Michelle. He felt attracted to her not only physically as he did with the girls he used to date before, but emotionally as well. She was strong, disciplined she provided things that he was lacking. At the beginning when his drinking was not so bad, she seemed to tolerate it ok, but now she was really on his case about it.

"Fine," he sighed "I'll be there in an hour." He drove erratically almost hitting the car in front of him at one point.

Finally he was there. He knew that whatever Michelle had to say probably had to do with him attacking her brother the day before. He was right. When he opened the door Michelle gave him a cold stare. He leaned in to give her a kiss but she pulled away. Dally scowled. He got into one of his dangerous moods. "So what is it you gotta tell me?" He said briskly and swallowed hard.

"Don't you want to come in?" She asked reluctantly.

"No," He leaned against the doorway, "just make it quick and let me be." He ran his fingers through his hair. Michelle's cheeks got red.

"Fine. It's about you and your drinking. You said you would stop." She looked him straight in the eyes an accusing expression on her face.

Dally didn't bat an eye, he stared her right in the eyes, "Yeah well, I say a lot of stuff." he snorted.

"Dallas, I mean it, you almost cut my brother's throat yesterday." She walked up closer to him. Dallas' face got gloomy. "Well, if he wouldn't stick his nose where it's not his business I wouldn't have touched him." He spat angrily, raising his voice.

"Dallas," she paused and looked down, "I think we shouldn't be seeing each other anymore." Dally's head snapped and he paled, "What are you saying?"

"I don't want to be your girlfriend anymore. I can't even remember when was the last time I've seen you sober."

"You are breaking up with me? you don't' break up with me, I break up with you." with that he walked up and pushed her on the shoulder. She took a step back and fell down onto t her back. Dally froze - he didn't mean to hit her. Tears welled up in her eyes. He stretched his arm to help her up. She ignored it. "Get out," she whispered through her tears. Dally swallowed hard a pained expression on his face. He turned around and left. On his way back he pressed on the gas the car flying. When he got home he had a few more drinks and went to bed.

At around 12 a.m. Dallas heard banging on the door. He thought it was his dad but he had a key. Then it dawned on him it was the night of the robbery. He was so preoccupied with his girlfriend breaking up with him and so drunk that he forgot all about it. He was in bed fully dressed as he was too lazy to take his clothes off. Now he was glad he didn't. He quickly threw a jean jacket on and opened the door. "Hi man what took you so long?" Mike rubbed his hands together. Dally didn't say anything. "That your truck?" he pointed at the truck parked by the house.

"Sure is, a beauty huh," Mike smiled revealing his crooked teeth once again. "We'll be loading the TVs and paintings and shit."

They walked over to the truck. There were two other guys in the truck, and Dallas merely nodded to acknowledge them. "All as planned," Mike said, starting the engine "the assholes are on vacations outta town. But we got to be real quiet not to wake up the neighbors."

Soon enough they pulled up by the house. The first thing to do was to pick the lock. It looked like Mike came prepared. He took out a crowbar and used it to pick the lock. They all piled into the house. One of the guys flipped the light on. "Turn it off moron," Mike cursed, "you don't want the neighbors see the light if the owners are out of town."

"How are we going to see what to take?" the guy replied kicking with his foot at what appeared to be some sort of a toy.

"Here," Mike took out a flashlight, "just use this." They started loading the stuff. The two guys carried the TV, then they took all the china and went back looking for jewelry.

Suddenly they heard sirens. "Shit the neighbors must've called the cops," Mike cursed. They ran out and jumped into the truck. Dallas was about to follow them, when suddenly someone hit him over the head with a thick book. He turned around and came face to face with Cherry Valance. She was home, she must've been upstairs and heard the commotion and called the cops. Dallas was about to run out of the house but lost his balance and fell down. As he was falling he saw out of the window Mike and the guys driving off not waiting for him.

Two cops walked into the house. They looked at Cherry, who was standing by the door and at Dallas sprawled on the floor unable to get up. They grabbed him under his arms at each side and dragged him outside. Once outside they handcuffed him and pushed him into the police car.

Dally was tried by a closed trial for robbery. The record showed that he was drunk. The record also showed a few other offences he was responsible for while drunk such as breaking the school windows and carving his name on the school doors. The judge's order was that Dallas enters a rehab to avoid jail time. When the judge read the order Dallas paled. He was terrified. He got so accustomed to drinking he couldn't imagine living without it. What a hell are they going to do to him at the rehab, he thoght. He actually preferred jail, but he had no say in the matter. All that was left for him was to wait for a dreadful day when he was going to go to the rehab and that day was coming soon.


	4. Madhouse

It was a muggy, humid morning. Dallas was in the kitchen drinking and smoking when a van parked in front of the house and honked the horn. Dally's dad was in his room passed out drunk so it was just Dally. He went out, and the driver rolled the window down. "Dallas Winston?" The guy asked.

"That's me," Dally replied coolly.

"I'm here to pick you up to drive you to the Mountain View rehabilitation center." Dally stared - he knew this was going to happen, but he was in denial about it.

"I can wait for you to gather up some belongings." The guy said.

Dally cursed under his breath. He went in and threw a few belongings into a bag. He wasn't concerned so much with taking clothes but he made sure to pack four packs of cigarettes. Then he took his blade and stuck it into his boot. He got out of the house. It occurred to him that he could just refuse to go, but deep inside he knew they would get him one way or another. He didn't say a word to the driver just got into the car slamming the car door.

The driver started the car. Dally lit up a cigarette and took a long drag.

"You can't smoke in here," the driver warned, looking at Dallas in the rearview mirror.

"Yeah? And who the fuck is going to stop me?" Dallas barked. He was in a very foul mood and he was not about to take orders from some asshole that was driving him to the fucking rehab.

"We are not going to move until you put that cigarette out," the driver warned again.

"Shit I've got all day," Dally snapped and took another drag. He kept smoking until he finished the cigarette openly flicking the ashes on the car floor. The driver was mad Dallas could tell and he was pleased with himself.

The driver started the car again. It was a forty minute drive they spent in silence. Dally had butterflies in his stomach and there weren't many things that made Dallas Winston nervous. The main reason for him being nervous was the fact that he would not be able to drink at the rehab. If he could drink then he could handle it no problem but not being able to drink made him really nervous.

Finally they arrived. They pulled up in front of a big gray building, and Dallas got out of the car. As he did so, he saw a woman get out of the building and start walking towards the car. Dally realized she was walking to meet him. She walked up to him. "Hi I'm Florence Miller I'm the coordinator here, you must be Dallas Winston." She was tall with auburn hair that fell in waves onto her neck and shoulders. She looked at Dallas with her green eyes, a friendly expression on her face. She stretched her hand for Dally to shake. Dallas gave her a nasty look and ignored her hand. He took a long drag on his cigarette and exhaled so the smoke from the cigarette was in her face. She frowned a little "please follow me, and ground that cigarette we do not smoke here."

"Whatever you say lady," Dallas took another long drag.

As they entered - Dally still a cigarette between his lips they were met by a big black guy who was a security guard. Dally was about to pass by but the guy blocked the way. "Cigarette out," he barked in a threatening voice and Dally frowned. He gave him one long look, but put out the cigarette and threw it on the floor defiantly. "Your bag," the guy barked next. Dally looked at him in confusion, Florence was standing a little to the side. "He needs to search your bag," she said to Dallas. He furrowed his eyebrows and all but threw the bag in guard's face. The guard took it looking at Dallas like he was disgusted with him.

The guard searched the bag taking the cigarettes out. Dally cursed as the guard took out the cigarettes. The guard didn't even bat and eye at Dally's cursing.

"You have some on you?"

"What's that to you?" Dally put his hands into his pockets, looking up at the guard. The guard grabbed Dally's shoulder roughly. He searched him and retrieved a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. "Your shoelaces and your belt," the guard said next.

"Excuse me?"

"It's just a precaution," Florence explained. "So you don't… hurt yourself," Dally rolled his eyes, but proceeded to hand in the belt and shoelaces. The guard didn't get the blade in Dally's boot, and Dally smiled to himself.

After the guard was done, "Follow me," Florence said, "I'll show you around." She started walking - her heels clicking as she walked.

"Make it quick lady," Dally scowled, a swagger in his walk as he followed her. She led him into a big, spacious room with arm-chairs and a couch and a TV in the middle of the room. "This is our TV room you are allowed three hours a day by the TV. You are not to stay up past 11 p.m."

"And what if I need to take a leak after 11?" Dally said sarcasm in his voice and scowled again. She looked at him knowingly and said without missing a beat, "you'll get a pass from the guard and then you can use the restroom." Dally found himself at a loss for words after such a response.

There were a few people in the room. They were watching some cheesy show. Some were talking, they seemed peaceful and content with being in this place. Dallas groaned, how could they stand it here, he thought. Florence started walking down the hallway. Dally was pissed but had no choice but follow her. "This is our dining room," she pointed to a room with many tables and chairs. "I can see that myself," Dally shot at her curtly.

"We have three meals a day and two snacks. You can choose your diet you can have regular or vegetarian." At that he snored, "Do I look like a fucking vegetarian to you?"

"I would watch your language Mr. Winston," Florence looked him right in the eyes.

As Dally followed Florence into the next room he felt nauseous - he needed a drink or at least a cigarette. All of the sudden he didn't feel like he could continue getting on Florence's nerves. All he wanted to do was crawl into a ball on the bed and go to sleep. "This is our group therapy room, you have three groups each day right after breakfast, lunch and dinner." Florence continued. Dally really wanted this tour to be over, he felt all energy was drained out of him. Then Florence showed Dally to the recreation room. There was a pool table, a ping pong table and a radio. It's missing a bar Dally thought bitterly.

"So that's pretty much it. Let me show you to your room." Florence informed Dally. Good, Dallas thought he could finally lie down.

When they entered the room Dallas saw a guy sitting on the bed reading a book. He looked about Dally's age, with black hair combed neatly to the side. "Hi Cody," Florence greeted, and the guy looked up from the book. "Cody, this is Dallas he'll be your roommate. Dallas this is Cody."

"Whatever," Dally shot walking up to the bed and taking a seat, "Can you just go already? I want to go to sleep." Florence gave him a disapproving look, but left the room not saying anything else.

Dallas was sitting on the bed and staring into the distance. Everything felt so surreal. He was here in some sort of madhouse, was it really happening? He didn't have a drinking problem, he didn't need to be here. That stupid judge, Dallas mentally cursed the judge.

"So how long have you done it, how long have you been and addict?" Cody's voice interrupted Dally's thoughts. Dally didn't even spare him a glance. "Fuck off," he said roughly, and lay down on the bed. He stretched out. He felt awful both physically and emotionally. The headache was killing him and the fact that he was going to have to follow rules here, listen to someone was killing him as well. He closed his eyes but didn't get a chance to go to sleep.

The door opened and the guard walked in, "Winston?" Dally stared at him, "follow me, you are going for intake," He led Dallas down the hallway and stopped in front of one of the doors. He knocked, and the door was opened by a middle aged woman. She was wearing a green dress and green eye shadow. Her brown hair was in a bun. She looked like she was in her fifties. Dallas frowned.

"Hello Mr. Winston, I am Gladys, I am the intake coordinator. I'll take down your information and answer any questions you may have," she led him inside the room and pointed to the chair, "please take a seat," Reluctantly Dally sat down while she took a seat behind her desk. "So Mr. Winston tell me about yourself." Dally lifted his chin up and stared her right in the eyes, "I don't think that's any of anyone's business," he shot at her.

"Ok you don't want to tell me, let me ask you a few questions. Do you go to school?"

"No," Dally said defiance in his voice.

"Why not?"  
"I don't think I need it," Dally snorted. She opened a folder and scribbled something on a pad.

"All right then, do you work?"

"No" Dally said annoyed.

"Do you live with both of your parents?" Dally felt a pang in his stomach. He really didn't want to discuss his family situation. He still didn't forgive his mother for leaving and he surely would not be discussing this with a stranger.

"What's that to you?" he glared at her.

"I just need to know so we can help you," Gladys replied.

"I don't need your fucking help," He shot at her, his voice roaring.

"Alright let me ask you this, how much alcohol do you consume per day?"

Dally's lips curved into a smirk, "As much as I want to," he said a look of contempt in his eyes.

"Mr. Winston, all these questions are so we can help you, so how much do you drink and smoke?"

Dally said nothing and just rocked in his chair.

"Does anyone in the family have a drinking problem?" Gladys still tried to get some answers from Dally. He didn't as much as look at her. "Mr. Winston," she said irritated you were sent here by the judge's order if you don't cooperate you can be sent to jail."

"I'd take jail over this any day," Dally pointed a finger at Gladys. She frowned. "All right Mr. Winston, we'll get back to these questions later. For now let me tell you how it works here. First you will go through detox process. That means no drinking or smoking. You will experience withdrawal symptoms and you will be given medication for that. That shall last for about a week. You will participate in group therapy three times per day and you will follow all the rules here. You will meet with a psychiatrist once a week to discuss your progress. Is that clear?"

"Crystal," Dally snorted. He was pretty mad. He had to meet with a psychiatrist, that seemed like the last straw. Dallas went back to his room, cursing under his breath. He plopped onto the bed and closed his eyes.

Dallas was awoken by some noise. At first he couldn't understand what it was. Then he realized it was someone announcing on the radio "group time" Apparently he slept through lunch, and now it was group time. "Group time," the radio said again, "please all gather in the group room." Dally groaned, fuck it he thought, I am not going. He saw through his eyes half closed Cody getting up from his bed, "Are you going?" he asked Dallas. He is really annoying Dally thought. He didn't respond just turned onto his side so his back was now towards Cody. He heard the door close as Cody left the room. Good Dally thought, I'll just stay here and get some more sleep.

Just as he was about to close his eyes the door opened a crack and a young woman stuck her head in. The rooms here didn't have locks which was also very annoying. "Mr. Winston," the woman said.

"What a fuck do you want?" he managed not turning around to face her. She frowned but continued, "Everyone is gathered for group that includes you."

"I ain't going." He put a pillow over his head.

"Sure you are."

"Lady, leave me the fuck alone." He raised his voice, turning to face her. She stared "Watch you language, and would you like the guard to escort you?"

"Whatever you say," he barked. She closed the door without saying another word. Dally laid back down. Man I need a drink he thought. The door opened and the same guard that searched him earlier entered the room. "Get up," he said in a deep voice. Dally realized he wouldn't leave him alone. He felt like just hitting the guard square in the face but realized it would not end very well for him.

The guard grabbed his arm. "I said get up." Dally swatted his arm but got up. As he exited the room the woman was there. "I'm Anne, I'm a psychologist here and I lead the groups," then in a softer voice she added. "It's normal to feel resentful at first, but I promise you this is a good place you are going to like it here. Is there anything you need?" she added. He snorted, "yeah, a drink."

"Please Dallas," she replied, "you should take this process more seriously, you'll recover sooner."

"Please lady, I've got a headache so I'd appreciate if you ... um shut up." Her face turned red and she did not say another word, just kept walking and Dallas had no choice but to trudge after her.

They entered the group room. There were about fifteen people sitting in a circle. She pulled up a chair and introduced- "Everyone, this is Dallas Winston he just joined us today. Please Dallas take a seat." Dallas was feeling dizzy so he was glad to plop onto the chair.

"So Dallas, why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself?"

"I told you before I have a headache so fuck off," he crossed his arms, venom in his voice.

"All right, you don't want to talk about that. Maybe you wish to share about what led to your addiction, you'll feel better once you get it off your chest."

"I don't have an addiction," He swallowed hard, "and I ain't got to talk about nothing."

She was thoughtful for a minute, then changed the subject - "Do you read?"

He snorted, "Never."

"Here we have a rule, everyone is supposed t read a book a week and then we discuss what each has read during group." Dally almost fell off the chair at that. Then she turned to face one of the guys, "Spencer do you want to talk about the book you read?"

"The book I was reading is Gadfly, It's about Italian revolution."

"Do you like reading about that?" Anne prompted.

"It's a lot of action so I enjoyed that." Spencer replied.

A few other guys shared about the books they read then Anne switched the topic again. "Now let's talk about your progress here, Eric why don't you start. Do you see now why your parents sent you to a rehab?"

"Yes, I see that I have a problem. I was drinking every day and acting out. On my sister's wedding I made a big scene fighting with a guy that I thought didn't like me."

"And how does it make you feel now?"

"At the time I didn't care but now I'm very sorry I ruined her wedding and it was very selfish and I will try not to drink again." A few other people went on talking about their progress.

"Now Dallas do you want to talk a little about your problem?"

"I told you, I don't have a problem. I'm not a fucking drunk. I don't need to be here. I drink and I smoke that's just what I do so quit bugging me. I don't need to sit here and listen to these pussies talking shit," With that he got up and stormed out of the room.


	5. If I make it through the day

**Thank you everyone who is reading.**

 _And if I make it through the day_

 _Will tomorrow be the same_

 _Am I just running in place_

 _And if I stumble and I fall_

 _Should I get up and carry on_

 _Will it all just be the same_

Dallas wobbled back to his room. He was seething, I have to have three of these groups every day, he thought, I will go crazy and then I'll really need a shrink. I'd rather go to jail than do this, he thought. But deep inside he was thinking about what the guy said how he ruined his sister's wedding. And Dallas had attacked his girlfriend's brother and hit his girlfriend. He'd seen how his dad hit his mom, and Dally had sworn he would never do that, but he did. He felt a pang in the stomach - was he a drunk?

The door opened and the nurse walked in, "Your medication," she said and stretched her hand with a small paper cup that contained two pills and a glass of water in the other hand.

"What the fuck is this?" He questioned his eyes wide.

"It's just some medication it will make you feel better and reduce your urge to drink."

"I ain't taking no fucking pills." He said through clenched teeth.

"Mr. Winston would you like me to have the guard administer the pills to you? It's for your own good," the nurse chuckled, "it's meant for your detox process to be easier on you, have less withdrawals," Dallas just stared at her. The withdrawals were killing him - he felt dizzy, sweaty and nauseous. He swallowed the pills. The nurse left, and Dally fell into a restless sleep.

When he opened his eyes the room spun in front of him. He shook his head trying to shake the dizziness off. Shit, he thought, she said the pills were supposed to make me feel better. He cursed under his breath and desperately felt a need of a cigarette. He sat up on the bed. All of the sudden he felt so helpless. He was totally out of control of the situation. He was Dallas Winston for God's sakes. He did not follow the rules, he made the rules. But here he was totally dependent on these total strangers, and had no say what so ever in what happened to him.

"Dinner time," the voice on the radio announced, "please go to the dining room." In spite of everything Dally was a little hungry. So he got up and started walking towards the dining room. Cody caught up with him, "so how are you feeling Dallas?" He seemed awfully talkative Dally just flipped him off and kept walking.

"That's ok Dallas," Cody yelled after him, "I was this way too when I just got here."

To his surprise Dallas learned that the food at the place did not suck. It was mashed potatoes and steak and it was quite good. They even got a fruit cup for dessert. Dallas frowned at that but the pills made him hungry. He ate the fruit cup and drank his tea. He was feeling out of it. These pills sure are funny, he thought. He finished his food and before he could leave the dining room, "Group time" was announced on the radio. Dallas cursed. How would he survive these groups? Three per day that is torture. He knew from the last experience that skipping it wouldn't work. So he trudged into the group room.

People were gathering in the room. Some were talking amongst themselves, smiling, even laughing. Shoot me if I'm going to be like these losers in a couple of weeks, Dallas thought. Finally everyone settled down, and Anne walked in. "Hello everyone, today we are going to talk about what triggers our drinking. What is it that happens that prompts you to drink?"

A few guys shared giving reasons such as stress or girlfriend nagging and a few other reasons.

"Now Dallas would you like to share?"

"He looked at her with contempt. "I drink because I love a good time, and I know how to have it, not sit here in this dump."

"Is that so?" She asked not fazed by his outburst, "or could it be because you can't have a good time without the drink, that you have a void, an emptiness inside, that you don't have what to live for?" Dally's head snapped, she hit the head on the nail, but he was not about to let her win.

"Whatever," he spat through clenched teeth, rocking in the chair.

"Think about what I said Mr. Winston," she said turning her attention to the other guys for the time being.

When it was time to go Anne cleared her throat and said, "Before we go,"

She turned to Dally. "Dallas you should know that everyone here has a responsibility to take care of. We believe it helps to fight addiction." What a hell did she mean by that, Dally thought but said nothing and just stared at her. "Some are responsible for recreation room to make sure it's tidy, some are responsible for announcements on the radio. Some make sure the group room is clean when we leave. Some are responsible for setting the tables in the dining room." Now Dally was really staring. She continued, "The guy that was responsible for the library got discharged a few days ago. So that responsibility goes to you. So every Wednesday after the morning group you go to the library for one and a half hours and check out books. While there you may also find something you'd like to read as I mentioned before we all read a book a week and then discuss it."

Dally was lost for words, he was stunned. He couldn't even think of anything nasty to say. Him and books. Him a librarian. He, Dallas Winston a tough hood who never reads has to run the library and has to actually read books.

After the group Anne walked up to Dallas. "Do you want to go to the recreation room, get to know people?" Dally felt like he actually wanted to hit her -

"Fuck off," was what he said and walked past her.

A librarian, him a librarian. His thoughts were mixing up in his head. He couldn't take it, this was far worse than jail. He was sitting on the bed, he wanted a cigarette so badly. He thought about his life - he lost the only job that he actually liked, he didn't have a good family, his friends were not allowed to see him, his girlfriend left him and now he has to stay in this place with these losers and be a fucking librarian. He lay down and placed his hands under the pillow. He fingered the blade that he had placed there earlier. Suddenly he felt the urge to end it all. His life was worthless. It was a joke. The place was torture and he did not want to go through this. He grabbed the blade, put it into his boot and almost ran to the bathroom.

The problem was the bathrooms in this facility did not have a lock specifically in case if someone tried to hurt himself. So he had to act fast, before someone walked in. He turned the hot water on and stuck his hands in. After a few minutes he could see his veins bulging out. With shaking hands he brought the blade to the vein and then cut it. He started bleeding and feeling lightheaded. He lied down right there on the bathroom floor and closed his eyes.

When Dally opened his eyes he was being wheeled on a gurney in a hospital hallway. For a minute he was disoriented, then remembered what happed. He looked at his wrists they were heavily bandaged.

"Where are you taking me?" Dallas demanded, trying to sit up, but his voice came out weak.

"Please don't talk and relax," the guy that was wheeling him said.

"Don't tell me to relax," Dally almost yelled. The guy turned around, "where do you think a job like you –psych unit." Dally bit his lower lip. The guy opened the door to one of the rooms and him and another guy lifted Dallas up and placed him on the bed. Dally thought he saw one of them smirk as he looked at Dallas.

They left him, and in a few minutes a nurse walked in, "how are you feeling Dallas? You gave us such a scare."

"Like shit," Dallas replied licking his lips, he was thirsty.

"You will feel better with time just try to relax." He was fed up with everyone telling him to relax, "you don't understand lady," he demanded, "I need a drink." She smiled at him, "you will be ok, Dallas."

"I need a drink," he yelled and started getting up from the bed. He attempted to peel the bandage off the wrist. The nurse looked scared. She ran out of the room.

In no more than two minutes a doctor ran in. He had a syringe in his hand. Dallas was standing next to the bed trying to peel the bandages off. The doc walked up to him, two big men following, "lie down Dallas."

"Fuck you." Dallas yelled, still pulling on the bandage.

"Ok," the doctor nodded to the guys. They ran up to Dallas and were holding him in place one on each side. Dallas tried to get out. He turned his body, but they didn't let go. "You leave us no choice Dallas, we are going to use some tranquilizers," the doctor said. With that he inserted the needle into Dally's vein just above the bandage. The two guys made him lie down, and one pulled up a chair and sat down.

Dally felt his eyelids get heavy and closed his eyes. The tranquilizers are working, he thought dully.

When Dally opened his eyes it was evening. They guy was still sitting in a chair next to his bed. Dally glared at him.

"So how do you like the trip from tranquilizers?" the guy smiled, "beats alcohol I hear." Dally couldn't help it but chuckle. "How do you know?" he said, squinting a little. The guy's face got serious, "so are you going to behave now or you'll need some more tranquilizers shot up your ass?" Dally looked down not saying anything.

The nurse walked in – "you have some visitors." Dally looked past her and saw Darry, Pony and Johnny walking in. His face turned gloomy.

"Hi Dal how are you holding up?" Darry said walking up to Dally's bed.

"I thought you don't like me anymore, and these two are not allowed to see me," Dallas said bitterly, propping his head on his hand.

"C'mon Dal don't start now," Darry said his voice soft.

"I ain't starting nothing." Dallas continued looking Darry right in the eyes, "You are the one who said these two can't see me no more." Dally looked at Pony who was standing to the side clearly uncomfortable, then Dally's gaze fell on Johnny and to his utter shock he saw a tear in Johnny's eyes.

"You scared us something awful," Johnny managed. Dally paled, he didn't know what to say. To his surprise he felt a lump form in his throat, "C'mon kid don't cry," Dally managed, his voice quivering slightly, "you ain't got to be scared for me."

"Well," Johnny sobbed, "what's with you trying to take your life?" Dally's face got even gloomier. "It was stupid," Dallas bit his lower lip. Johnny sobbed again. "Hey," Dally said his voice sounding almost soft, "I ain't gonna die." Johnny walked up to the bed and grabbed Dally's hand, "promise?" he said barely audibly. Dally was moved. He didn't realize he had such an effect on the kid.

"Yeah, I promise Johnnycake. I'll be ok, though I don't know if superman over here," he pointed a thumb in Darry's direction, "will let you hang out with me."

"Not if you are drunk," Darry said his voice real firm, like he meant business. "I hate to break it to you Dallas," Darry continued, "but you need this rehab. They will help you. You don't want to become," he paused then said reluctantly, "like Johnny's father."

"That place is out of it," Dally ran his fingers through his hair and sat up on the bed, "you know they got a library and they are supposed to read a book a week and get this they made me a fucking librarian. Me, Dallas Winston a librarian." Pony chuckled, and Dally shot him a warning look.

"That's pretty funny Dal," Johnny smiled through his tears.

"So," Darry frowned, "they made you a librarian and you decided to take your life?" He looked shocked.

"They were feeding me some meds, they made me out of it," Dally replied.


	6. Librarian

After being discharged from the hospital Dallas was sent right back to the rehab. He hated it but he had no choice. Florence met him upon arrival. She looked flustered, "Hi Dallas I'm glad you are back," – silence. She stepped aside, and Dally saw one of the guards standing behind her. "This is Maxwell, he is going to look after you."

Dallas furrowed his eyebrows, "What a fuck do you mean?" he asked gruffly.

"Well, you are on suicide watch now." Florence fixed the glasses on her nose.

Dallas took a step back, "What does that mean?" he raised his voice a little.

"It means Maxwell will be watching you and go where you go to make sure you… um, don't try to hurt yourself again."

Dallas frowned, he did not like the sound of it, "What if I need to take a leak?" he said, sarcasm in his voice.

"Maxwell will wait for you outside of the bathroom. It's about lunch time now, you should go. Don't forget after lunch one and a half hours at the library."

Dallas paled a little, "Fuck off lady I ain't doing that library shit," he said defiantly.

"Language Mr. Winston." He stuck his middle finger at her, - "do you prefer this?" Florence didn't even bat an eye. After all she was dealing with alcoholics, tough guys, she'd seen and heard a lot over the years. "Mr. Winston you were assigned library duty and you are going to do it. And while you are there don't forget to pick a book for yourself. Also you should know that we changed your medication. We think that maybe the one we gave you before contributed to your… suicide attempt."

"You think?" He replied angrily.

After lunch Dally had no choice but to go to the library. He plopped into a chair and propped his feet up on the desk. The guard gave him a disapproving look, but Dallas looked him right in the eyes almost daring him to say something. The guard was getting on Dally's nerves. Dally leaned back in his chair. He still couldn't believe it – him a librarian. I'll just sit here like this for the entire time, he thought, I won't actually have to do anything.

In a few minutes the door opened and a few guys walked in. They walked up to the desk and one said, "I'm looking for poetry," and the one behind him snorted, "He's the poetry guy around here. As for me get me some of the detective stories."

Dally scowled, "I ain't your bitch, go get it yourself." He said lazily and propped his head on his hand. There was silence, then the first one spoke up. "She didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?" Dallas asked, annoyance in his voice.

"We ain't allowed to get the books ourselves. It's all on you," the guy snickered.

"I guess you are our bitch," the little one, who had been silent up to that moment, spoke up and giggled. Dallas got up and jammed his fists. He started walking up to the little one when he got a firm strong arm on his chest – "Mr. Winston no violence," it was fucking Maxwell.

Dallas cursed under his breath and trudged inside the room into the area where the books were kept. It was quite a few shelves considering this was not a real library. At least the sections were labeled: fiction, drama, poetry, history. Dallas went up to the poetry first. He pulled the book off the shelf reluctantly. He opened it – foreign language - Spanish or something, he put the book down. Maxell was starting at him, "Whatcha staring at?" Dallas snapped. He thought he saw the guard smirk in response. It seemed Maxwell was really enjoying getting on Dally's nerves. Dally had an urge to smack the guard in the face but he thought better of it.

"Hey hurry up, man" he heard someone yell form upfront. He was pissed and wanted to start a fight, but he couldn't start a fight with fucking Maxwell around. At that moment he thought he would be so much better off in jail. The new medication made him dizzy, though he wasn't as out of it as he was on the previous medication. But he really wanted, no needed a drink.

He was mad as it is, but the withdrawals made him even crankier. He grabbed whatever first book he could find in the poetry section, making sure it's in English and one from the detective stories, and went to the front room. "Poetry," he looked at the book in his hand. What kind of pussy reads poetry, he thought. The guy flipped through the book Dallas gave him, "I don't like it, get me another one,"

"I don't give a fuck if you like it," Dallas snarled, "I ain't going back there and if you don't want to have any missing teeth, I suggest you take the one I gave you and beat it outta here." The guy glared at Dallas, muttering something under his breath, but took the book.

The guys left, and Dallas sat down behind the desk again, hoping no one else would show up. He was just sitting, rocking in the chair, wishing he could have a cigarette when Maxwell turned to face him, "Did you pick one for yourself?" Maxwell asked.

"Mind your fucking business," Dallas shot at him, crossing his arms, looking up at the guard.

In a few minutes the back door opened and a small woman wearing the uniform walked in. She was wheeling a cart in front of her. The cart was full of books. She stopped when she saw Dallas. "You must be the new librarian," she said in a friendly voice. Dallas hated the sound of it. "These are the books returned from last week, they need to be shelved."

"You gotta be kidding me." Dallas swallowed hard, his eyes growing wide. The woman smiled as if he gave her a compliment and turned around and went out the back door. Dallas looked at Maxwell, who was smiling. "Want to help me with these rather than stare at me?" Dallas shot at him curtly. The guard shook his head smirking. "Nuh, it's all on you." And then just to piss Dallas even more, Dallas was sure, he said, "and don't forget to pick out a book for yourself." Dallas gritted his teeth. He felt so helpless and humiliated and he realized there wasn't a damn thing he could do about his current situation.

Dallas sighed and started wheeling the cart and shelving books. As he was shelving one book another one caught his attention – "self guide to guitar playing." He took it off the shelf. There was nothing to read - just a short narrative and then notes and scales. Dallas smiled. This will shut them up, he thought. I got a book, but there is nothing there to read. He put the book aside to take with him after he was finished.

One and a half hours passed, and Dallas was happy to get out of the library. He grabbed his book and walked towards the exit, Maxwell following at his heels.

Dallas walked into his room and took a seat on the bed. Maxwell pulled up a chair and sat down in the corner of the room. Just as Dallas started relaxing, still mad from the library experience, the radio announced, "Group time, please gather in the group room." Dally gagged in disgust, but grabbed his book and started walking towards the group room, shutting the door in Maxwell's face.

Everybody sat in a circle and Anne walked in. "so," she started, "hope everyone is doing well today, working their way towards recovery. This group is going to be about the books you are reading or picked out to read. Eric why don't you start," Eric, the little guy that was in the library earlier got up from his seat. I picked this one this morning it's Agatha Christie."

"Very good, have you started it yet?"

"I just read the first chapter."

"Ok," then her gaze fell on Dallas, who was holding his book.

"I see Dallas you picked out a book too. Which one did you pick?" This is going to be good, Dallas thought. He held up the book then flipped it opened. "It's a guide how to play guitar." He expected her to say 'you can't read it, 'there is nothing to read' or something along those lines, but instead she smiled and said, "Very good Dallas." Dally was confused. She continued, "We have another rule here that I haven't mentioned before- everyone is supposed to pick one hobby and keep at it. Would you like to have guitar lessons?" Dallas didn't know what to say, he was put on the spot. He meant to make a joke out of the whole reading a book thing and to piss her off. Instead he got himself into more shit. She was looking expectantly at him. "Sure," Dallas said and bit his lower lip.

"Good, we'll arrange for an instructor once a week." Dally was seething. What kind of shit he just got himself in. He had no interest in learning how to play the guitar. He was furious, he needed to blow some steam off or he would explode.

After group Dallas stumbled into TV room. Surprisingly there was no one there. Dallas kept switching the channels until he found a football game and settled on that. He plopped onto the couch thinking that he can't take it any more having Maxwell watch his every move.

At that moment one of the counselors walked into the room, "Hey Maxwell," he called, "I need to talk to you, can you please come over here."

"Ok, sir," Maxwell said then shot a glance at Dallas, "don't do anything stupid." Dallas rolled his eyes, "Oh yeah, I am going to kill myself right in the middle of the TV room," he snorted. Maxwell gave him a look like he was disgusted with him and walked out of the TV room.

Dallas was watching TV, but he was still mad about the library and the whole thing about guitar lessons. In a few minutes a big, broad shouldered guy, who Dallas had seen in the cafeteria and in groups, walked in. He didn't as much as look at Dallas. He walked up to the TV and started switching the channels. "Hey," Dallas called out annoyed. The guy didn't even look in his direction. "I was watching that." Dallas hissed through clenched teeth. The guy smirked, "and now I'm watching _this_." He switched the channel to some game show.

Dallas was still mad from the previous events. He didn't need this shit. He got up from his seat and started walking up to the TV.

" Don't even think it," the guy glared at him.

"Or what?" Dally said with contempt, pointing a finger at the guy.

"Or you will regret it," the guy was taller and bigger than Dallas.

"Oh yeah?" Dallas spat on the floor. He ran up and punched the guy in the chest. They guy wobbled but didn't fall. The guy grabbed Dallas and started punching him in the stomach. Dally got out of his grip and punched him from the back with all his force. The guy fell down but got up right away and started punching Dally in the shoulder.

At this moment Maxwell ran into the room, "hey, break it up," he yelled, but the two were dead to the world only interested in beating each other up. Maxwell ran up to them and grabbed Dallas by the tail of his shirt. Dally turned around and without thinking twice clobbered the guard over the head. The guard grabbed the other guy by the shoulder. The guy swung his hand and punched Maxwell in the stomach. In a minute both Dallas and the other guy were beating up the guard.

The other guards heard the commotion and ran into the room. They dragged the guys off of Maxwell, whose nose was bleeding, and he didn't seem to be able to stand straight doubled over from the punches in the stomach.

"Go to your room, both of you." One of the guards yelled.

"So what happens next?" Dally asked, wiping the blood off his lip, as him and the other guy turned the corner into the hallway.

"Nothing," the guy smirked, "it ain't jail, they can't send you to solitary or no shit like that."

"Oh yeah?" Dallas leaned on the wall, he was feeling dizzy again, "You've been to jail?" he asked almost slyly.

"Plenty," the guy responded proudly, "you?"

"All the time," Dallas replied bitterly, "the only reason I'm here is 'cause I'm supposed to be in jail, but that damn judge ordered I go to this shit hole instead."

"Same here," the guy smiled, and then added, "You fight pretty good." Dallas ran his fingers through his hair, "can't say that I don't." he smirked.

"I'm Max, you are new here, I've seen you in groups."

Dallas nodded, "Yeah, I've seen you too."

At this moment Florence approached them "Mr. Roberts, Mr. Winston go to your rooms."


	7. Pansies and dog therapy

**Dally gets some therapy from … a dog**

A few days have passed, and Dally hated every minute of it. At least he was off suicide watch which meant no more Maxwell breathing down his neck. On Friday morning he slept in, skipping breakfast. He was in bed planning to sleep a little more when the radio announced "please all gather up in the group room." Dallas groaned - there was still half an hour before the group was supposed to start. Dallas threw the blanket off. Lazily he got up and trudged to the group room.

Over these few days he got a little friendly with Max after their initial fight. Max even waved Dally over at the cafeteria to sit with him during meals. Dallas was still reluctant to socialize with anyone else.

He shook hands with Max and took a seat. Anne walked in shortly. "Hello," she greeted, "I asked you all to get here a little earlier today because for our group we are not staying here we are going on a field trip," she paused, "we are going to a botanical garden to learn about different flowers. At the end each one of you will get a flower to take care of for the rest of your stay here. Part of being sober is being able to take responsibility and take care of something or someone. So we'll start with a flowerer. Ok, is everyone ready?"She looked over the group, "let's go." Dallas cursed under his breath, "I bet it's on the East side," he mumbled going down the stairs and out the door. His friend scowled "you bet."

Outside the bus was waiting for them. They climbed in, and Dallas leaned into his seat and fell asleep. The next thing he knew his friend was shaking him. He opened his eyes and looked out the window. They were on the East side alright. They got off the bus, and Anne led them ahead. They approached a sign "Welcome to Tulsa Botanical Garden." They entered, and immediately Dallas scowled and spat on the ground. As they entered, a petit brown haired woman approached Anne. Anne cleared her throat and said, "This is Mrs. McKenzie, she is going to be our guide today."

Mrs. McKenzie started walking and everyone crowded behind her. They were passing roses, tulips, chrizantemas and a multitude of other flowers - all different colors and arranged in beautiful ornaments in circular and rectangular patterns. Dally and his friend were at the very back of the crowd, behind everyone else. Dally couldn't really see all the flowers, but he could hear the guide go on and on about where each type of flower was from and what its significance in the garden.

Some of the guys seemed interested and even asked questions. "What a bunch of pansies," Dallas said, contempt in his voice. He said it a little louder than he was intending. The guide looked directly at him. He expected her to say something nasty, but she smiled and said "that's right young man these are pansies. Do you know a lot about flowers?" Dallas frowned, the people in front of him stepped aside, and he saw a bed of small colorful flowers. Max snorted, while the guide continued "Did you know there are over 200 different types of pansies?"

"Thrilled to know," Dallas said sarcasm in his voice.

They kept walking around, and Dally was desperately wishing for a cigarette. Dally was walking behind not really listening or watching what was going on. His thoughts were about East side and West side. Nothing like this garden could ever be on the West side of town.

"Mr. Winston," his head snapped up "huh?"

"We are all done," Anne said.

"Oh," Dallas started to walk towards the exit.

"No Mr. Winston," Dallas looked up at her confused.

'First you have to go to the window right there," she pointed a finger, "and get your flowers." Dallas considered cursing her out but didn't want to have tranquilizers shot up his ass.

He walked up to the window where Mrs. McKenzie was giving out the flowers. "And this is for you young man," she smiled widely as if seeing Dallas brought her enormous joy. She reached behind her and then stretched her arms with a pot with flowers in it. Of course it was pansies. Dallas nearly gagged. "These are not what I wanted," he said reluctantly.

"Which ones would you prefer?" Mrs. McKenzie asked. Dally's lips curved into a smirk – "Cactus." Mrs. McKenzie frowned and fixed the glasses on her nose – "we don't have cactuses."

"Why not?" Dally leaned on the wall and glared at her.

"Tulsa climate is not good for them. They are more for Arizona. Just take these." She stuck the pot with pansies into Dally's hands. He frowned but he had no choice but to take the flowers. He turned around abruptly and walked away.

On the bus Dally was sitting - the pot of flowers on his lap glaring tat them. Max looked at him and snorted. Dallas scowled. When they arrived back at the rehab Dally went to this room and threw the pot with flowers on the desk reluctantly. His roommate walked in. He was carrying the pot with violets. He carefully put them on a windowsill and left the room. He returned in a few minutes with a glass of water. He walked up to the windowsill and started watering the flowers. What a tool, Dally thought baffled. He plopped on the bed not bothering to even kick his shoes off and fell asleep.

The next morning Dallas woke up to a buzzing sound. What a hell, he thought angrily, then he realized it was the cleaning lady. Apparently she was vacuuming outside his door in the hallway. He groaned and placed a pillow over his head. "Are you skipping breakfast again?" he heard Cody say. The roommate was really annoying can't he get a clue," Dallas thought matter of factly - I ain't here to make friends.

The buzzing continued, and Dallas finally opened his eyes. He saw his roommate was standing by a windowsill a small stick in his hand. He was loosening the soil around the violets and then watering them. Dallas rolled his eyes. He got up and headed for the door. "Aren't you going to do this?" his roommate asked. Dally turned around "What?" he said annoyed.

"Water the flowers." Dally just glared at him. Then Cody walked to the desk where Dally's flowers were and started watering them as well. "I can't let them die," he said to Dally, disapproval in his voice. Dallas just glared at him again and walked out the door. What an idiot, he thought repulsed.

At breakfast he was sitting with Max as usual. "So how are those pansies doing?" Max chuckled. Dally didn't feel offended and cracked a smile. "Let's just say they ain't gonna make it." He took a spoonful of his oatmeal. "How are those tea roses doing?" he said next imitating his friend's tone of voice. Max was silent for a moment, "they are ok, kind of felt bad to let them get dried up and everything."

"So you watered them?" Dally said almost accusingly, taking a sip of his tea.

"Yeah." Max looked down.

"Pussy." Dallas laughed.

"Hey, watch it." Max warned, but Dally just kept laughing.

At 11 a.m. they gathered in the group room as usual. Anne walked in and to their surprise another woman walked in behind her. She was walking a puppy on a leash. The dog was black with big ears and big brown eyes - a Labrador Dally recognized. "Hello," Anne said. "This is Stephanie and this is," she pointed at the puppy, "Riley."

"Yesterday you each got a flower to take care of, today your task is one step up. Each of you will take care of Riley for two days. If you have problems or questions Stephanie and I will be available to solve them, is that clear?" Everyone nodded.

"Why don't we start with…" she looked around the room, "you Dallas."

"Great," Dallas rolled his eyes. Stephanie walked over to Dallas and gave him the leash. Riley looked up at Dally apprehensively. "Now what a hell am I supposed to do?" Dally said gruffly, crossing his arms, his eyes wide.

"You walk him, groom him, feed him," Stephanie replied smiling. The dog food is in the pantry. "Ok," Anne said, "everyone is excused now, you can go."

Everybody left, but Dallas was still standing in the middle of the room leash in hand, a confused expression on his face. Stephanie smiled at his confusion. "Why don't you start by walking him?"

Dally ran his fingers through his hair, "Right," he nodded.

"And if you need help I'm here," Stephanie called out after him. "He is very friendly," she nodded at Riley, "you'll do fine." Dallas walked outside, the dog trotting after him.

As Dally was walking he tripped over a twig on the ground. "Shit," he cursed and kicked it away. The dog tugged at the leash – "you want to run?" Dally said hesitantly, and let go of the leash. The dog ran and grabbed the twig and brought it and put it in front of Dally's feet. "You want to play fetch," Dallas smiled in spite of himself and threw the twig much further than the first time. The dog took of barking loudly and brought the twig to Dally. They kept playing for about an hour. It was kind of fun Dally had to admit. The dog seemed to be really intelligent which Dally did not expect from an animal. "Ok," Dally said, "you are probably hungry." He grabbed the leash and started walking.

As promised there was dog food in the pantry. He filled the bowl with dog food, and Riley ate hungrily making a lot of noise as he chewed. Then all of the sudden he ran up to Dallas and licked his hand. Dally was caught off guard. He just met the pup and he was already showing him affection. Dallas smiled and patted the dog on the head.

They went outside once again. There was a pile of sand left by the construction workers after they were working on the building. Riley ran up to the pile and started digging. He dug one big hole and climbed inside. He started rolling around in the sand. Dally watched puzzled. In a little while the dog got out of the sand and ran to Dally. The dog had sand all over him. "Great, now we have to take a bath," Dally said reluctantly. He grabbed the leash, and started walking towards the building.

Once inside Dally went into the shower room and filled the tub with lukewarm water. He grabbed Riley and to his surprise Riley started moving his paws as if he was swimming while he was still in Dally's arms. Dally chuckled - it was hilarious here the dog was in Dally's arms, but just looking at water made him think he was swimming. Dally carefully placed the puppy into the water. Riley seemed to enjoy it a lot. While still holding the pup with one hand Dally grabbed a soap bar with the other hand and ran it across Riley's back and sides. He grabbed the towel and wrapped it around Riley. The dog made a small noise.

Dally took Riley to his room and placed him on to the bed. The second Dally removed his hands the dog got out of the towel and started shaking the water off, the drops of water flying everywhere. Dally's roommate glared at him but didn't dare to say a word. Dally was watching with amusement. He walked closer to the dog. "Hey, do you know any tricks? Give me five," Dallas stretched his arm. To his surprise the dog lifted up his paw and stretched it towards Dally's palm. "So you do know tricks," Dally gave him a treat that he got from the pantry. Dally grabbed a brush and started brushing Riley's hair. The dog squinted his eyes and seemed to enjoy as Dally was stroking his hair with the brush.

After Riley got dry they went outside again. Dally tried to avoid the pile of sand this time around. As they were walking Riley ran up to a tree and did his business. "Gross," Dally wrinkled his nose and kept walking. But at that moment as if on purpose one of the guards appeared. "Winston," he barked, "curb after your dog".

Great, Dally thought reluctantly, now they got me cleaning dog shit. He took out a plastic bag and cleaned the mess.

For the night Dally brought the dog into his room. He got a few dog toys form Stephanie and gave them to Riley. Riley seemed to particularly like a small stuffed horse. He hugged it and went to sleep by Dally's feet.

In the morning Dally was awaken because someone was pulling the blanket off of him. He opened his eyes and saw Riley pulling at the blanket. Dally glanced at the clock. It was 7 a.m. Breakfast was at 9 - he could've slept for two more hours. Then it dawned on him, "I need to walk ya don't I?" he furrowed his eyebrows sighing, then he grabbed the leash and put his shoes on (he slept fully clothed) and went outside. He was sleepy and cranky. "Why'd you have to do it so early, couldn't you wait a few hours?" he grumbled. The dog looked him right in the eyes as if he understood every word that Dally just said.

The dog did his business, and this time Dally picked it up even though there was no one around to see whether he picked it up or not. After the walk Dally took Riley to the pantry and fed him. There was something calming and peaceful as Dally was just standing there watching the dog eat all the food. Dally felt more relaxed and at ease.

While Dally went to breakfast he left the dog in his room, and when he got back he found Riley sitting by the door waiting for him. "You want to go outside and play," Dally said amused, meeting Riley's gaze. Riley's big brown eyes were staring back at Dally. "Alright, alright," Dally grabbed the leash, "We are going," He smiled widely. The dog perked up and once again licked Dally's hand. "Good boy," Dally stroke his hair.

They went outside. Dally remembered that the dog seemed to enjoy the water the day before when Dally was giving him a bath. It was pretty hot out, and Dally got an idea. He went to the janitor and got a big basin and filled it with water. Riley started barking excitedly. He sniffed the water. Then he stuck one of his paws out and felt the water. Then he got into the water and started splashing. Dally's feet were wet now but he was grinning. He looked at the dog and he could've sworn the dog was grinning too.

After about half an hour Riley got out of the water and started to shake the water off, drops of water flying everywhere. Dally chuckled. He took out a soccer ball that he got form Stephanie and threw it. The dog made a small noise and run up and kicked the ball with his head. Dally was caught off guard, "you play soccer?"Dally raised his eyebrows, baffled. The dog stood beside him wiggling his tail as if he was proud of himself. Dallas threw the ball again, and again Riley kicked it with his head. Dally kicked the ball with his foot, and Riley ran after the ball and then rolled it with his paws. They kept playing until lunch time. Dally was getting really fond of the dog.

After lunch he fed Riley and took him outside once again. He was enjoying the fact that he was excused from groups. Spending time with Riley sure beats sitting in group being forced to talk about yourself and your drinking problem, he thought bitterly.

The dog was running around sniffing the grass. Dally got an idea. He got a really big tree branch and a string. He tied the string to the tree branch. "Riley," he gave a little whistle. Riley turned around and looked at Dally.

"Watch," Dally waved his hand the string swinging from side to side. Riley barked and ran up to Dally and tried to catch the string, but Dally lifted his hand so Riley couldn't reach. Riley barked and tried again. Dally chuckled – "not so easy huh?" the dog wiggled his tail. Dally lowered his hand and let Riley catch the string. As he did the dog got really excited. He grabbed the string with his teeth and was trying to get it off of the tree branch. "Easy there buddy," Dallas said almost affectionately and patted him on the back. Riley let go of the string and licked Dally's hand. "Let's play some more," Dally smiled. They went through the whole process with the string again and again. Dally let Riley win and catch the string quite a few times, and the dog was full of joy each time he did.

It was the end o the day, and Dally was feeling tired. This dog wore me out, he thought, surprised. He took out a Frisbee he got form Stephanie and started playing with Riley. He found himself laughing and feeling carefree which he hadn't felt in forever. At this time some of the other guys were passing by. "Hey you, doggo man," the little one yelled, "you are having too much fun."

"Fuck off Eric," Dally stuck his middle finger out. Eric shut up. He didn't stand a chance fighting Dally.

Riley was running up to catch the Frisbee, then stopped abruptly and started whining. "What's wrong?" Dallas was behind him in an instant. He noticed a shard of glass from a broken bottle on the ground. Riley's paw was bleeding.

Dally's thoughts went into overdrive. He was surprised at himself how attached to the dog het got in only two days. He felt super protective and he felt like a failure. They trusted him with the dog and he didn't rise up to their trust. He let them down. His first instinct was to go get Stephanie, but then the thought he is tough he is not a pussy he can take care of this. He got Riley inside. He ran to the medic's office and got some bandages and rubbing alcohol and some cotton swabs. He ran back to his room where Riley was waiting. "Here buddy, its' ok, it's gonna be ok," he stroke Riley's hair. He cleaned the wound with rubbing alcohol and the dog was whining as the alcohol stung on the wound. Then Dally started applying the bandage but the dog wouldn't stand still. "Easy there buddy," Dallas said, and it surprised him how soft his voice was. "It hurts, I know," he continued while carefully applying the bandages on the cut.

After Dally was done applying the bandages, the dog stretched out on the floor. So much for playing, Dallas thought dully. He went to the pantry and got some dog food. He placed the bowl in front of Riley, but Riley didn't seem interested in food. Dallas plopped down on the floor next to Riley. He felt close to panic. At the end of the day he was supposed to give Riley back to Stephanie, and the dog was hurt. What are they going to think of him - that he is incapable of even a simple task such as taking care of the dog for two damn days. Then he felt mad at himself - since when did he, Dallas Winston care what others think of him. They can think whatever the hell they want he wouldn't care he tried to convince himself but deep inside he knew that he cared and he couldn't figure out why.

Dally felt like he didn't want to give Riley back. He hadn't had so much fun in a long time. Sure beats the robbery with some dumb greasers, he thought. He was a little apprehensive walking into Stephanie's office, because the dog was hurt. He didn't care so much what it would do to their reports about his progress as he cared about what they would think about him, will they think the he failed them and failed Riley.

Dallas walked into Stephanie's office and cleared his throat - she was on the phone. She motioned for Dallas to take a seat which he did. She hung up the phone. "Hello Dallas," she smiled. "So how was your experience with Riley?" It was great, Dallas felt like saying, but he had a rep to protect. "It was fine," he said dryly, sinking deep into his seat, "but I have to tell you something," he paused. Stephanie noticed Riley's bandaged paw. "What happened?" she asked worriedly.

"He stepped on a shard of glass." Dallas didn't add 'I'm sorry' or anything of the sort. They wouldn't catch him dead apologizing even though he felt really lousy. She looked thoughtful for a minute then smiled, "I see you handled the situation well. Someone else might have run to me trying to get help but you handled it yourself. I think you did well with this exercise Dallas, have a good night."

Dally turned around to walk away, but something in his heart ached. He felt like he wanted to keep Riley. Riley apparently felt the same way because he started barking in Stephanie's arms trying to run after Dallas. "This is always the hardest part," Stephanie said sadness in her voice. Dallas left not turning around to see Riley or he would just grab the dog and take Riley with him.


	8. Mary had a little lamb

**Thank you to everyone who is reading this story. I can see from my stats that quite a few of you are. Starting the chapter with a little humor but on to pretty serious stuff after that, enjoy.**

Dallas was sitting on the bed in his room when the door opened a crack and Maxwell stuck his head in. "Here he is," he said to somebody, Dallas couldn't see, and opened the door wider. As he did, Dallas saw a middle aged man with balding head appear in the doorway. He was wearing a faded black t-shirt and jeans. He was holding a guitar case. He entered the room.

"You must be Dallas," the man said looking awkwardly

around the room.

"And who the hell are you?" Dally crossed his arms, sizing the man up with his eyes.

"I'm Mr. Brown. I'm here to give you your guitar lesson." Dally frowned, he forgot all about that.

The man pulled up a chair and sat down by Dally's bed. He opened the guitar case and took out the guitar. Dallas rolled his eyes, and he considered to just tell the man to get lost but let it slide. Besides Anne made it clear that everyone had to pick a hobby so if he didn't do this she'd force him to do something else which might be even more stupid than this.

"So," Mr. Brown cleared his throat, "let me see where you stand." Dallas stared in confusion. "I mean musically," Mr. Brown added. "Please sing 'la'" he sang prompting Dally to repeat. Dally's eyes about bulged out of their orbits, - "You got to be kidding me."

"No, I'm quite serious, I need to know where you stand so please sing 'la.'"

"I ain't doing that," Dally sad and there was some aggression in his tone of voice. The man frowned and his cheeks turned slightly red, "alright you don't want to do that we'll do that later."

He searched his pockets and stretched his arm to Dallas – "This is a guitar pick." Dally rolled his eyes, "like I don't know that." Mr. Brown ignored Dally's remark. "Here's how you hold it - you place it between your index finger and your thumb so that the side is sticking out."

"Listen, I can figure out how to hold the damn pick you ain't got to show me." Dally said annoyed, raising his voice.

"You will be surprised at how many people hold it incorrectly and as a result their playing suffers." He gave the pick to Dallas, "go ahead and try." Dallas held the pick between his index finger and his thumb. "Good," Mr. Brown approved. "Here," he passed the guitar to Dallas, and Dally held it the way he'd seen Darry hold it.

"Good," Mr. Brown approved again. "Now strum the top string then the rest of the stings simultaneously." Dallas did as told.

The man took out a sheet of paper out of his bag and gave it to Dallas. "These are the most important chords. I need you to memorize the top row by the time we meet next week. Now let me show you how to play them," he took the guitar from Dallas. "This is the G chord," he placed his fingers on the frets, "and this is D, then F. You can see it in the chart I just gave you." Then the man said, "Let me show these chords to you in a song." Dally perked up maybe it's actually something nice, he thought. He'd heard Darry play and it was actually pretty nice. He propped his head on his hand and prepared to listen to the song.

The man's facial expression changed as if he was about to do something great, and then he started to sing the nursery rhyme "Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb, Mary had a little lamb, little, little lamb." The expression on Mr. Brown's face was of great importance as if he was singing United States Anthem or something. Dally couldn't keep a straight face and burst into laughter – " _this_ is the song you sing." The man looked offended "this is what you have to start with, and young man there is nothing funny about it."

"Sure," Dally said under his breath trying not to laugh again.

"Now here," the man passed the guitar to Dallas, "you try."

"I'll try the chords, but I ain't singing that bullshit." Dally placed his fingers on the frets and played the D chord then G and F.

"Now Dallas, please try the song." The man prompted. Dally scowled, "I said I ain't singing this shit." Then he leaned in and added, "Look, I'm only doing this 'cause the bitch forced me to, so don't get it into your head that I actually want to do this," then he stretched out and added gruffly, "I think we are done for today, I want to go to sleep." The man sighed shaking his head, "Fine Mr. Winston, if this is the attitude you want to have. You should really take advantage of this opportunity. Many people have to pay to be able to learn."

"I'm glad I am not one of them," Dally sneered and he looked like he was losing his patience, "Now go," he waved Mr. Brown off. Mr. Brown zipped up the guitar case and left the room. Now, that went well, Dally thought stretching out on the bed, 'Mary had a little lamb,' he rolled his eyes.

A few more weeks passed by. Dally didn't feel like he needed a drink all the time anymore. He kept his library duty and had no choice but to talk during groups. Once a week he met with a psychiatrist, and he dreaded it. She was an older woman of around forty five or so. He thought she always looked at him weird. Today was the day he met with her and he really didn't want to see her.

"Hello Dallas," she greeted as always. He just nodded and proceeded to take a seat.

"So how are you doing?" she took out his file and opened it.

"Fine," Dallas replied dryly not even looking up at her, but staring out the window. All of the sudden she asked him "so do you have a girlfriend?" He looked up at her confused, "what does it have to do with anything?"

"Oh, but it does," she placed her hand on top of his on the desk.

"We broke up," Dally said feeling weird and removing his hand.

"Such a good looking young man and without a girlfriend, that's a shame." then she looked directly at him, - "you know I also offer private sessions if you know what I mean. I bet you'll like it." Dallas was shocked, he'd seen a lot of things in his life, but this was new to him. No, I'm just imagining it, she doesn't mean sex with her, he thought. Then she looked at him again and smirked, "I bet you hadn't had any since you started here, you know sex isn't alcohol you don't have to withdraw from it." That did it for Dally. He felt repulsed. He had to put her in her place.

"I am not interested," he said dryly, running his fingers through his hair, "but I'm sure my case manager will be interested in knowing just what kind of therapy you are running here." She didn't bat an eye. "Who will believe you? You are an alcoholic, a low life. On the other hand I'll just write in your report that you are hostile, not responsive to therapy and there is no improvement on your part. I am sure your case manager will be VERY interested in this information." Dallas was stunned, he got up and stormed out of the room.

At the end of the week he met with his case manager, who said he was disappointed in Dallas. He said his reports from the psychiatrist said he was being hostile and he was not making progress. Dallas bit his lower lip listening to case manager reading the report. He considered telling the truth, but he knew no one would believe him and he may get into more trouble. Over the next three weeks he continued meeting with the psychiatrist, and she continued her advances. Dallas was getting fed up.

The next meeting she greeted him as if nothing was wrong but then smirked and said venom in her voice "so how did your meeting with your case manager go?" "Scum," Dallas said through clenched teeth, his eyes blazing with anger.

"Oh, I wouldn't use such strong words, Mr. Winston." She got up from her seat and walked over to Dallas. She approached him form the back and wrapped her arms around his neck. He froze and held his breath. She tilted her head towards his and got really close - their lips almost meeting. Dally was about to pull away, but she withdrew abruptly. She went back to her seat and opened Dally's file. "So Mr. Winston what is it going to be?" she picked up a pen and started writing, "hostile behavior, name calling, no intent to participate, no progress." She finished with an evil smile on her lips and closed the file. "I'll see you next week Mr. Winston, enjoy your meeting with the case manager."

Dally was seething. He got over his initial shock,- "You filthy peace of shit you are going to pay for this." He pointed his finger at her. Her eyes flickered dangerously, "no Mr. Winston, _you_ will. Now let me be I have other patients to take care of," she said in an innocent voice as if nothing had happened. There was nothing left for Dallas to do so he left her office cursing under his breath. He considered telling Max, but he was ashamed. He thought he might laugh at him, and besides it didn't make him look tuff that he didn't know what to do, that he couldn't handle her.

The next few weeks she continued harassing Dallas, and he got bad reports. The case manager was fed up with him, and Dallas in turn was fed up with the situation. On a Saturday he was particularly miserable. Saturday was visitation day and everyone got visitors except for Dally. He stayed in his room feeling like a stray dog, who was kicked out by his owner.

That evening Dallas was standing outside wishing for a cigarette when Max walked up to him. "Look what I got," he held up a pack of kools.

"Visitors?" Dallas asked, and Max nodded.

"Let's go around the corner where the guards can't see."

They went around the corner and both lit up. 'I'm done with this place," Max exhaled the smoke.

"What 'dya mean?" Dally took a drag on his cigarette greedily, he hadn't had a cigarette in so long.

"I'm running. I haven't had a drop in five months. If you ask me it's worse than jail."

"Yeah," Dally nodded flicking the ashes of his cigarette, thinking about psychiatrist, "I'd rather be in jail, no groups or stupid shit like that." Max looked up at Dally, "you wanna run with me?" Dally was really fed up with the psychiatrist situation, he could take a lot, but this was really getting to him. On top of that having to participate in stupid groups and being a librarian. He was thoughtful for a moment, "Where are you running to?"

"I got a cousin in Canada, owns a construction business. He always needs workers we'll fit right in." Dally thought of never hanging out with the gang again, but they weren't allowed to hang out with him anyway, he already lost them. Nobody visited him on the visitation day, "Count me in," Dallas said firmly, and took a long drag on his cigarette.


	9. On the run

The following night after the lights were out Max and Dally were rushing to the bathroom. The hallway was dark and empty. Dally stood in the doorway in case anyone tried to walk in, while Max went inside. He walked up to the faucet and turned the water on putting a piece of cardboard into the drain. The water started overflowing the sink, then it was on the floor and was rising. When the water was up to his ankles he nodded to Dally, "we are done." Next they ran to the guard.

Dallas was the one to approach him. "Hi Nelson," Dally started in the most innocent voice.

"Winston lights out was half an hour ago."

"I know," Dal replied, making sure he sounded worried, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I just went to the bathroom and it is flooded."

"What do you mean?" Nelson sounded annoyed.

"Someone flooded the bathroom, it's all water." Dally pointed his finger towards the bathroom.

"Let me go and see," the guard barked getting up. As soon as he turned the corner into the hallway Max and Dallas ran out the door. This was not jail so there were no barbed wires or even a fence so they walked out without any trouble.

They were both laughing, thrilled with what they just pulled off. Dally ran his fingers through his hair, "So we got to catch a ride." He said, excitement in his voice.

"True my friend," Max patted Dally on the shoulder, "but first I want to get me a nice, cold drink, I hadn't had a drop for fucking months, there must be bars in this part of town."

"Good idea," Dally grinned, "You still got that pack of Kools?"

"Sure do," Max grinned and took out the pack. He tossed one stick to Dallas, and they both lit up. "Feels good, doesn't it?" Max gave Dallas a crooked smile.

"Sure does," Dallas grinned, "no fucking groups either," he said with contempt, and let out a perfect smoke ring.

They kept walking until they were in a busy section of town. The weather was nice – not too hot, not too cold. Nice, warm breeze brushing against their skin, and night sky full of stars. Sure enough there were plenty of signs of different bars in front of them. "Which one?" Dally asked enthusiastically, squinting a little and licking his lips. Max looked around, - "how about that one?" he pointed at the one that said 'White horse bar and grill'.

"You got money on you?" Max asked Dallas.

"Not too much."Dallas replied reluctantly, slapping his pockets. Max paused, "don't worry I got enough for the both of us." They walked inside, and the smell of cigarettes and alcohol was strong, and at first Dally was a little nauseous, he was already not used to it after spending a almost two months in the rehab, but in a couple of minutes he was ok.

They kept ordering drinks the whole night until both of them were really drunk. Max was looking at pretty girls but didn't approach anyone.

"You want to get some chicks get some action?" Dally smirked slyly, Max looked down. "What's the matter?" Dally asked puzzled and flickered the ashes of his cigarette.

"I got to make a phone call." Max replied. He got up and walked unsteadily towards the hallway where the phone was. Dally stayed alone eyeing cute girls and trying to sweet talk them.

In about ten minutes Max still wasn't back, and Dally decided to go get him. When he entered the hallway he saw Max sitting in the phone booth the receiver hanging, Max wiping his eyes. Dallas walked up to him carefully "who'd you call?" He leaned in and stretched his arm for Max to grab.

"My girlfriend." Max replied and his voice was strained.

"Is she alright?" Dallas asked, concern in his voice. Max's eyes flickered dangerously, "said she doesn't want nothing to do with me. Broke up with me 'cause of my drinking." Dallas sighed and bit his lower lip, "same here," he said bitterly.

All of the sudden Max got up and jammed his fists. "We should go there."

Dally frowned, "What do you mean?"

"I'll just talk to her, it won't take long and then we'll be on our way." His speech was slurred he was really drunk. But so was Dallas.

"Oh man, I love this girl. I want her to run with us. If I could only talk to her," he stumbled almost falling down.

It was around 3 in the morning now. Max and Dallas wobbled their way out. They were in no condition to walk. So they caught a cab. The driver was reluctant to take them because they were drunk but Max took out a $50 bill and waved it in front of the driver's face. That did it, he took them and drove them to the address Max gave him.

The ride was about twenty minutes, and Max and Dally were so drunk they hardly were able to get out of the car. They were in the middle class section of town now. Max was swaying from side to side. He tried to lean on Dallas, but Dallas was drunk too, and the two of them nearly fell down.

Max was finally able to walk up to the door and ring the bell. Dallas was standing behind him. There was no answer, and Max started banging on the door. In a few minutes the door opened and Max was face to face with a big guy holding a baseball bat. The man looked like he just put his clothes on in a rush. Max's face went red "you are fucking my girl?" he barked taking a step forward.

"Who the hell are you?" the man snapped.

At that moment a young woman appeared behind the man, "who is it Stan at this hour?" She asked walking up closer to the door.

"You tell me," Stan spat. She leaned over his shoulder and saw Max and Dallas, "what a hell are you doing here?" she hissed at Max. "I told you we are through." "You don't understand…" Max started, "I love you, you are my girl. You are fucking this bastard…"

"Get out," she yelled and the guy tried to close the door, but Max stuck his hand in. Stan spat on the ground "if you don't leave this instance you are going to regret it."

"Is that a threat? You want to fight?" Max yelled. Dallas, who started to sober up wished they'd just go, but Max wanted to fight. At these words Stan got out of the doorway and pushed Max backwards. Being drunk Max swayed side to side and fell back down on to the porch. "Fucking drunk," Stan cursed and shut the door.

Dally ran up to Max and helped him get up. "I love that girl," Max muttered, "I love her." This made Dally think of his ex-girlfriend, he too wished he could still call her his girl, but it was all in the past, now, he sighed, she wasn't his girlfriend anymore. Now he was going to Canada and he'll find himself a great girlfriend, he tired to convince himself and he succeeded at convincing himself just that. Max on the other hand was devastated. "He's fucking my girl," he kept repeating. Even in his drunken state Dally realized that he had to take charge or they would never get anywhere.

At this moment Dallas spotted a beat up van painted in different colors passing by – hippies. "C'mon," he tugged at Max's sleeve, "we can catch a ride," he sounded annoyed. He waved at the van and the driver stopped it. A long haired guy of about twenty years old stuck his head out the window eyeing Dally. "Where are you guys headed?" Dallas asked carefully, walking up closer.

"New York," the guy replied, "you need a ride?"

"Yeah, we are headed to Canada so it's on our way." Dally replied coolly.

"Get in," the driver said taking a long drag on his cigarette which didn't smell like a regular cigarette, it smelled like pot.

"C'mon," Dally pushed Max forward.

"He is fucking my girl" Max said again. Dally got in after him. Inside there was a guy and two girls they were smoking and giggling. "What's his deal?" the driver nodded towards Max.

"His girl just broke it off," Dallas replied with finality, settling in his seat, he was about sober by then. "Here," the driver stretched his arm with the joint "this will make you feel better," Max took the joint without hesitation. He took a few drags then passed it to Dally. Dally had smoked pot before and he didn't really like how it made him feel but to refuse would be to show that he was a pussy so he took the joint and took a few drags then passed it back to the driver. The girls and the guy were talking about something not really paying any attention to Dally and Max.

In about two hours both Max and Dally were asleep. They slept through the rest of the ride and were woken up by the driver. "Ok man we are here, got to get off brother." Max opened his eyes and looked disoriented. "Where the hell are we?" "New York. I bet you don't remember one thing from yesterday," the driver laughed. Max looked like he was concentrating trying to remember then his face got a gloomy expression "I 'member plenty, some other guy is fucking my girl." "Oh you are still on that," the driver chuckled, and Dally rolled his eyes.

"Tell you what," the driver searched his pockets and took out two small white cubes that looked like bubble gum. The driver placed the cubes in Max's palm – "will make you feel much better," the driver said getting back into the van.

"Shit I have such a headache," Max cursed, "I need a drink."

"Let's sleep somewhere in the park and in the morning we'll catch a train to Canada," Dallas swallowed hard and started to walk ahead, but Max interrupted him. "We don't got to sleep in the fucking park. I got plenty of cash let's find a hotel, but before that," he paused, "I need a drink." They walked down the subway station and asked the clerk how to get to the closest hotel. They took the subway as the clerk directed them and got out right in front of a hotel. "Let's look for a bar first," Max suggested.

It seemed that in New York nobody slept. The streets were full of people, and sure enough there were several bars around. Dally was wondering where Max got so much money from but decided not to ask. They walked into a bar, and Max got three bottles of whiskey. Then they went to the hotel. To their luck there was a free room and they got it without a problem.

Once in the room Max opened the bottle and started taking swigs. Dally opened one too. "I can't believe she broke up with me," Max said bitterly, and Dally felt stupid, there was nothing he could do about the situation.

"You gotta forget about her, just forget it man," Dally said matter of factly, furrowing his eyebrows and taking a swig.

"I fucking love her. I can't forget about her," he kept drinking then took out the two cubes the hippie had given him and took one. "You want one?" He asked Dally.

"Nuh, I'm good man," Dallas shook his head, leaning against the wall – a stern look on his face.

"I am going to try and sleep," Dally said settling down on the bed. "You should too." Max didn't say anything, instead he opened another bottle and took a swig. Dallas stretched out on the bed and closed his eyes.

In the morning Dallas opened his eyes and rubbed them. He looked at the second bed, Max was not there. He thought maybe he went to the bar. He headed for the bathroom to wash up. He opened the bathroom door and froze. On the floor laid Max, his wrists cut. "Shit" Dally muttered. He dropped onto the floor and grabbed Max's wrist to check for pulse, there was none. "Oh no, no!" he almost yelled. He ran to the room grabbed the phone and dialed 911. The operator picked up. "My friend, he… he tried to kill himself," Dally yelled desperately, and gave them the address. But even as he spoke he knew it was too late already, Max was dead.

Dally plopped on the couch and held his head in his hands. Thoughts were running through his head and he was shaking. Not so long ago he himself tried suicide, but now looking at someone's death it made him realize how much he wanted to live. He used to say that he hated his life but now it seemed that it was quite alright, fine even, there can be worse things than living in the poor neighborhood. He felt sorry for Max. He was drunk, he was on drugs and he didn't know what he was doing, a wasted life. The moment he realized this he got plain scared, it could've easily been him instead of Max and all because of drinking. He was a slave to drinking and he really needed help. At that moment what Darry had told him got through to him – he was turning into Johnny's parents or his old man, and he hated both. He decided to go back to the rehab and do whatever it took to kick his drinking habit.

In about ten minutes the paramedics arrived. As expected they pronounced Max dead and took the body. Asked Dally if he knew any of Max's relatives so they could contact them. Dally said he didn't know anyone but gave them the number for the rehab saying they have all the contact information. Dally still had a few dollars left. He used them to buy a train ticked back to Tulsa.


	10. Second chances

When Dally arrived at the rehab the next day, he knew by the looks in people's eyes that they already knew what had happened. The paramedics must've called and then the word spread like wild fire. Dally quietly went into his room, which was still available, and stretched out on the bed.

In a few minutes a guard stuck his head in - "Anne wants to see you." Dallas sighed, but got up and went to Anne's office.

"Hi Dallas," she said sounding friendly, "come in, take a seat." Dallas took a seat and looked down. Usually he would feel brave and stare her in the eyes just to get her mad, but now he just felt exhausted.

"Dallas, I realize what happened is a very traumatic experience so if you need to talk about it you can talk to me." Dallas was silent, he swallowed hard - "I don't need to talk, I just want to quit."

"What do you mean?" she leaned in a little closer.

"The booze, I just want to quit." Dallas muttered, his voice quivering slightly. She seemed pleased, "is that why you came back?" Dally nodded.

"I am very glad to hear it Dallas. If you fully participate in the program you will recover. We had people that were more dependent than you and they recovered. Are you ready to fully participate?" Dallas sighed, sinking deeper into his seat. "I am," he managed barely audibly, still not looking her in the eyes.

"You are excused from the groups today. Get some rest. Tomorrow you can start participating in groups."

The next day Dallas went to group as he always did. Only this time he wasn't wise cracking and refusing to talk, but he actually listened what others had to say. He found a lot of similarities in the other people's stories. Many of them had alcoholic parents. He spaced out thinking about his old man and how he drank all the time, when Anne's voice brought him out of his thoughts. "So Dallas would you like to tell us a little about your situation?" Dally looked up – all eyes were on him, and he actually felt kind of intimidated. He cleared his throat – "I don't know where to start."

He swallowed hard then continued. "Well, my mom left when I was three so it has always been me and my dad. He's been drinking for as long as I can remember. So I picked up the habit from him." He paused gathering his thoughts, then continued, "It's just the way to deal…" he paused again, "Go on, is it just a way to deal with things?" Anne prompted. "Yeah," Dally continued, "That's how it was at first - when I was upset or mad or nervous it would calm my nerves. And then it just became a necessity. I couldn't go on without a drink. But I really want to quit now." He sighed and felt a lump form in his throat.

Anne looked at Dallas and smiled. "Very good Dallas. Recognizing that you have a problem and wanting to stop it are the two most important steps. You will kick the habit. I promise you that." Dallas looked away, "I sure hope so." He mumbled.

A few weeks passed by. Dally was doing much better. He talked in groups and started socializing with other patients. One thing though was still as bad - he was still getting advances from psychiatrist, and he didn't know how to stop it. She kept writing bad reports about him. He decided to tell Anne anyway even though he knew most likely she wouldn't believe him.

One day Dally was walking down the hallway, and when he was passing by the psychiatrist's office, a guy about his age walked out of her office. Dally had seen him in groups before, his name was David. As he was passing by, Dally noticed his fly was opened. Dally paled a little, he got the idea immediately and called after him. – "Hey can I ask you how your sessions with the psychiatrist are going?" He leaned against the wall, stern look in his eyes.

"Fine, why do you ask?" David stared back at him.

Dally furrowed his eyebrows - "Is she… maybe asking you to do something you don't want to?" He sounded dead serious.

"I don't know what you are talking about." David replied wide-eyed.

"Well, your fly is opened." Dally stared David right in the eyes. David's face flashed bright red. He turned away and zipped up his pants. Then he turned to face Dallas again, "Look, I need to get out of here, and if I don't do what she says she…" he paused, looking down.

"She writes awful reports that you aren't making progress and shit like that." Dally continued for him, bitterly.

"Yeah, how'd… you know?" David appeared to stumble over his words.

"Make a wild guess." Dallas replied, sarcasm in his voice.

David shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot then said, "She came on to you too?" Dally bit his lower lip and nodded.

David looked shocked, "Shoot I thought I was the only one. If I told someone it's my word against hers no one would believe me." Dallas got a determined look on his face. "We got to find out if there are more people that she did this with. If all of us say the same thing they'll have to believe us."

David frowned, "I don't know if I want to talk about it with others," he paused, "it's kind of embarrassing." Dallas sighed and nodded - he too was embarrassed which is why he never told anyone even Anne. But he had to start getting good reports. He was thoughtful for a moment – "maybe we don't have to talk." He finally said coolly.

"What do you mean?" David asked baffled.

"I got an idea," Dally replied, sounding dangerous.

At midnight Dally and David were walking down the hallway. They approached the psychiatrist's office, looking around making sure there was nobody in the hallway. Dally took out his ID card and carefully slid the card into the lock. The door opened with a small squeaking sound and Dally looked around once more – no one was there. Dally and David quietly entered the office. David turned the lights on.

"What a hell are you doing?" Dally hissed at David, "They'll see light in the office in the middle of the night we are dead."

"Yeah, but how are we going to do this without light?" David protested. Dallas didn't reply. He walked up to the switch and turned the light off. Then he walked up to the desk and tuned the desk lamp on. It was a weak light and nobody from the outside would be able to see it.

"Where the hell is it?" Dally muttered, looking around in the dark, then walked up to a big filing cabinet. "Must be here," he opened it and took out a bunch of files. David did the same. They started looking through the files.

"Look for the ones that say no progress is made, not cooperating, not participating, those must be the ones she is harassing." Dally instructed flipping the file open.

David moved closer to the lamp and started flipping through the files.

"I think I've got one," he said hesitantly in about five minutes, raising his voice.

"Sh, quiet," Dally shushed him, "Lemme see." David handed him the file. It was Jason Wilson. The report said he was doing really poorly and making no progress. Then the next report all of the sudden said he was doing great and making a lot of progress. Dally knew who the guy was. He was really good looking. "I bet that's the one," Dally said, his voice strained. Dally kept looking through his files – "here I got one too. Four people that should be enough to get the bitch fired." David nodded, "let's go before someone finds us." They put the files back, and exited the room.

In the morning Dallas was antsy. He wanted to talk to the guys about the psychiatrist right away. He wanted to get it over with. It wasn't just because he needed good reports but it was also a matter of principle who does this bitch think she is, that she can do this. After breakfast he approached Jason Wilson. "Hey bro you got a minute I need to talk to you." He said quietly, but firmly. Jason looked at Dallas funny surprised as they never talked before. "What ya need?" He walked up to Dallas. Dally cleared his throat. "It's kind of personal," and then he just cut to the chase "has psychiatrist… um does she force you to do things you don't want to do?" The look in Jason's eyes said it all, but he didn't say anything.

After an uncomfortable silence he looked at Dallas and said "what are you talking about?"

"I m talking about she does the same to me and several others and we are going to report her and get the bitch fired." More silence then Jason looked up at Dallas, "she did the same to you?"

"Sure did," Dallas said bitterly, "said no one would believe me and wrote shitty reports saying I am not making progress and shit like that. There are at least four of us and if all of us report her they would believe us." Jason looked down, "I thought she only did that to me and then nobody would believe me." Then he squinted a little at Dallas - "how'd you know it was me?" Dallas smirked "I have my methods." He looked over and saw David was talking to the other guy. "Let's go to Anne after group and report the bitch." Jason looked hesitant. "Are you sure the other guys will do the same?" Dally nodded – "positive."

"Ok then I'm in," he held his hand out, and Dally shook it. "I thought I was the only one that's why I haven't told anyone," he mumbled again.

"Yeah," Dally scowled and nodded reluctantly, "same here."

After group Dallas and the other three told Anne what was going on. It wasn't easy to talk about that but they had to. As expected she was shocked. "I will let Mrs. Ferguson know right away," she assured them. Mr. Ferguson was the head of the place. It took no more than four days and the psychiatrist was fired and her license was taken away from her.

Anne caught up with Dallas in the hallway. "Hi Dallas," she greeted. He nodded in response. "I just want to thank you for coming forward with the psychiatrist situation. I know it was not easy. We had no idea this was going on. She took advantage of the vulnerability of our patients. Anyway, I am glad that you are doing much better and speaking up in groups you are on your way to recovery." Dallas nodded again coolly, he wasn't about to get sappy with her.

Another two weeks passed by. Dallas was doing well. He was feeling physically much better and didn't feel the need to have a drink. He still despised being a librarian but he tolerated it ok. One thing he did not expect he was actually enjoying his guitar lessons. Sure the guy was not the top notch teacher, and Dallas dreaded the lessons at first, but little by little it captured his interest and he was getting pretty good at it.

On Saturday - the visitation day Dallas was sitting all alone in the TV room. Everybody had visitors and it was nice out. Dallas could see out the window people smiling, laughing with their visitors, telling them how they were doing. Dallas felt pathetic, he didn't even have anyone to tell that he was doing much better. His drunk of a dad sure wouldn't care. He thought of his ex-girlfriend. Boy did he screw up, he thought. He realized now why she broke up with him. With a heavy heart he got up and went to the phone to call her. Maybe she would give him a second chance. He remembered Max calling his girlfriend and what it led to.

He walked up to the pay phone and dialed the number. She picked up right away. "Hello?"

"Hi, Michelle, it's Dallas." He held his breath, preparing for what she had to say. There was a long pause on the other end of the line. Then, "what do you want?" she asked dryly.

"I was thinking, … um I just wanted to let you know I'm at the rehab."

"So I heard," she said curtly.

"I… I'm sorry," he found himself saying and Dallas nearly ever apologized. "I know I've been a jerk, I let you down, but I'm doing much better now." He felt a lump form in his throat and the hand holding the receiver was shaking so slightly.

"I'm glad to hear that Dallas," she said and her voice sounded much softer this time around.

"I was thinking maybe you could… um visit me some time." His voice was shaking as he spoke.

"I don't think that's a good idea Dallas." She sounded hurt.

"Oh C'mon, not as my girlfriend, just as a friend- no pressure. Everybody here gets visitors, and I got no one." He mentally cursed himself for sounding so desperate.

She sighed, "Ok Dallas but strictly as a friend."

"You got it. I'll see you next Saturday then." He grinned even though she couldn't see him.

"Bye," he hung up the phone. Talking to her made him realize how much he'd missed her. Dallas didn't get attached to people easily, but once he did he got it bad. That's how it was with Johnny and that's how it was with his girlfriend.

The following Saturday Dally was feeling nervous. His old self would want a drink to calm the nerves, but the thought of alcohol had not even crossed his mind. He met Michelle in the doorway.

"Hi Dallas." She said awkwardly, taking in her surroundings.

"Hi, I'm really glad you made it." He said meeting her gaze. He wanted to run up to her and give her a kiss, but he had to contain himself. She didn't reply but the look in her eyes was hurt like she was hurt and didn't know if she could trust Dallas again. "So you've been of the booze huh?"

"Yeah," Dallas nodded, and smiled "go figure."

"Do you think you'll keep it up when you get out of here?" she asked hesitantly.

Dallas wanted to tell her all about his struggles, how he didn't think he needed this place at first, and how he wanted to keep drinking, but now he was a changed man. He couldn't find the right words to tell her all that so all he said was "I have to," she nodded, - "good to hear that."

They sat down on a bench under the elm tree. It was really nice out, and Dallas felt really good. They talked about this and that, Dally managed to find the right words to tell her about his friend's suicide and that he was determined to stay sober when he got out. After she left Dally had a really good feeling he felt that they may get back together once he was out.

Two more weeks passed Dallas stayed at the rehab for total of four months. He was being discharged on Friday. He gathered his belongings and threw out the pot with pansies, which as he predicted were dead. He didn't feel that bad about it, but wondered if he should've taken care of the flowers.

He was excited but worried at the same time, would he be able to stay off the booze. He arrived home and immediately was hit with the smell of alcohol. It made him nauseous, his dad was drinking. Dally went to this room and closed the door. This was going to be hard but he knew he would never drink again no matter what his dad did and he would never go to Buck's again. All it took was remembering his friend lying lifeless on the bathroom floor. He asked Michelle to give him a second chance and she agreed to try to start dating again. He talked to Darry, and Darry said Johnny, Pony and Soda were allowed to hang out with him, but warned if he found out Dally was drinking he would beat the tar out him.

On Saturday morning Dally was walking down Sutton Street. There was one thing that he needed to do. He turned the corner and stopped by the building that had a sign "animal shelter." He walked up and opened the door. Inside there were all kinds of dogs, puppies and cats and kittens. Dally sized them up with his eyes. His gaze stopped on the brown Labrador. He reminded him of Riley. He was still a puppy. Dally explained to the owner which puppy he wanted, and the owner gladly gave it to him. "His name's Bandit," the owner chuckled, "he got it 'cause he's a troublemaker around here."

"Oh yeah?" Dally smirked, "we'll get along just fine then I know it." The owner put a leash on the dog, and Dally walked out with him, grinning. He had a new appreciation for life after witnessing his friend's death and realizing it could've been him. After all the trouble he went through, life was good!


End file.
